Recently, I was talking to my friend and mentor. She told me that I need to get myself out there in the dating scene again and suggested I try a dating website to do it.
Let's be clear before I get into the story, I have nothing against dating websites. It's just that I have tried them before and have always ended up with mediocre results. But, I decided to go with it. She's never steered me wrong before, and I figured what's the worst that could happen? I meet some new people? There ain't nothing wrong with that.
I decided to try out the site OKCupid. I had heard good things about it from another blog that I love, Sex, Lies and Dating In The City (if you like dating blogs, run there after you've finished here. Excellent stuff.). I've been on Match.com and eharmony before and I wasn't that impressed with either. Don't get me wrong, there's lots of people on match, just no one I ever wanted to date seriously. And eharmony works great if you live in a metropolitan area, but I live in po'dunk. Plus OKCupid is free and that's a BIG PLUS when you are SUPER BROKE.
I hate writing profiles. But it didn't seem to matter that I didn't have one completed yet. As I was writing, I got my first email message! A cute little 19 year old sent me a message saying, "Hey, you want to get down sometime?" WHAT?! Oh, he BETTER be talking about dancing to old motown records! I ignored him.
I guess I should be flattered. I have a 19 year old nephew, so it's kind of like having one of my nephew's buddies hitting on me. And here's to me, Mrs. Robinson...
I finished up my profile and started checking out profiles of all the eligible young men who live within a 25 mile radius of me. There was a whole 19 of them. And as I went through them, I realized something very important: I have adult onset ADD. That, or only boring people live around me. I would get about two sentences in and my eyes would start to cross. I didn't spend a huge amount of time on my profile, but hopefully it's not sleep inducing like these ones I got to read.
I logged off and decided to leave it alone. What a pleasant surprise for me when two days later I got another message! This one seemed really nice; the second message was from a late thirty-something just outside of the 25 mile radius that I was looking at before. Just a little note saying hi. I was intrigued, and went to look at his profile. My eyes didn't cross after the first two sentences, but I was thinking "WHAT?!" again as I read about how he was married and he and his wife were looking into poly-amorous relationships so he just wanted someone for sex. Now, to each his own, but I am not trusting enough nor am I secure enough to deal with open relationships. Call me selfish, but I want someone all to myself and to have him think the same of me when it comes to love relationships.
What's with all of the horniness? What is it in my profile that says I'm easy? Is it because I said I love listening to The Smiths? Is it because I listed my body type as "a few extra pounds" that these guys figured I'd be grateful to get laid? Do my eye glasses give me a naughty school girl look that men go gaga over? I mean really, what the hell?!
I revamped my profile after that. I added a line in the "You should message me" column saying they should if they dig a chick who can kill her own spiders and likes watching the History Channel. Brains and independence will scare an immature guy away every time. Which seems to have worked because I haven't gotten a message since from any guy this past week. But I'm okay with that, because I know that somewhere in the world there is a guy looking for a woman just like that, but he just may not be on a dating website.