Dru and Ana

Hump Day Video Day Has A New Home

2010-08-11T20:21:00.002-06:00

I've decided to officially move Hump Day Video Day to Nowhere Near Figuring Life Out.

If you want some new tunes, clicky clicky right HERE.

Hope to see you over there ;)

Hump Day Video Day-Tori Amos Part 2

2010-07-28T08:00:00.008-06:00

July has ended so quickly! It's the last installment of my ode to the 90's month here, and we're ending it with the uber talented Tori Amos. I know I've had her here on HDVD before, but that was a song from her newest album and this one is the first song that I ever fell in love with of hers. and even though it's almost 20 years old, it still sounds just as good and poignant now as it did then.

tori amos - Silent All These Years
Uploaded by manon42. - Explore more music videos.

Hump Day Video Day-Lush

2010-07-21T08:00:00.004-06:00

It's the I love the 90's month here at Dru and Ana! This week we have one of my most favorite British bands, Lush. There's something about their music that when I hear it, I feel safe and happy. To me, it's absolutely magical. Plus I love Miki's pink hair. She wears it well, and if I could pull it off I would totally copy her and dye mine pink too. But instead, I'll just continue to enjoy their music and admire her tresses. Here's my most favorite Lush song ever...

Hump Day Video Day-The Lemonheads

2010-07-14T08:00:00.000-06:00

Happy Wednesday! It's all about the 90's this month. And our next song as we stroll along musical memory lane comes to us from The Lemonheads and their "It's A Shame About Ray" album. Most of the lyrics on this album are about as deep as a kiddie wading pool and pretty repetitive, but I think that's what I have always loved about The Lemonhead's music; easy to learn and easy to identify with. Of course, I think most things from the 90's were about as deep as a kiddie wading pool, with maybe the exception of Kurt Cobain, so The Lemonheads fit right in with the time.

And I have no idea what is suppose to be happening in this video, but who cares, Evan Dando is downright purty and I like looking at him.

The Lemonheads - Confetti
Uploaded by Warner-Music. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Hump Day Video Day-The Sundays

2010-07-07T08:00:00.002-06:00

Some of my most favorite songs and bands hail from the early 1990's. And since I feel that that time period started really shaping my taste in music, I've decided to dedicate the month of July to them.

Starting off first with a little band from across the pond called The Sundays. Their album "Blind" was one of my first cds that I ever bought and it's still one of my most cherished to date. I can't even count the number of nights during middle school, high school and even into college that I would put this cd on and fall asleep to the beautiful and meaningful tunes. So today, let's share the first song that I heard off of the album that never stops allowing me to fall enchanted with it's melody...

The Sundays - Love
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I'm Moving

2010-07-06T20:15:00.000-06:00

I've decided to carve out a new little niche for myself.

It's a new blog called Nowhere Near Figuring Life Out. I thought the title was appropriate since I usually feel pretty clueless in my daily adventures.

But Dru And Ana isn't dead. There's still a bunch of Hump Day Video Day posts coming up and I'm undecided about whether they are going to be moved to NNFLO or if they are going to stay here. Time will tell.

But feel free to stalk me in either place, I don't mind...

Hump Day Video Day-Eric Hutchinson

2010-06-30T08:00:00.000-06:00

YAY FOR WEDNESDAYS! Why? Because it's time for music videos!

What's wrong with this song and video? Not a damn thing! It has claps, it has na na na's, it has subtle humor and it has a guy in a Mariachi outfit. I love it! And hopefully you will, too.

Eric Hutchinson "Rock & Roll"
Uploaded by brienta. - See the latest featured music videos.

Hump Day Video Day-Meiko

2010-06-23T08:00:00.003-06:00

I first time I heard a song by Meiko was when I was driving cross country to Alabama this week last year. Apparently once you get out of Arizona, the radio stations actually play a variety of songs instead of the same regurgitated crap all of the time! And thank goodness they do, because as soon as I heard her voice singing "Boys with Girlfriends", I fell in love with it. Today though, we'll go with a good break up song of hers and a video with a cast that looks like it should be in a french circus...

Jimmy's Stories-Statue Of Liberty

2010-06-22T20:49:00.000-06:00

That's my Dad, Jim, circa Christmas 1983. He was rockin' my barrettes and flashing one of his "village idiot grins" as Mom called them. He was a funny guy.

And I say "was" because we lost him in fall of 2005 to cancer. He told me a lot of stories growing up and I feel as if it's my duty to keep them circulating now that he isn't here to tell them himself.

This story here is one of my favorites.

My Dad grew up in a town called Fowler, which was one of those little rural po' dunk California country towns back in the 50's with a small population and children running around playing outside all the time. He was a small, scrawny kid and the neighborhood bully who was much larger decided he wanted to start making Dad into his latest victim one day.

But even though Dad was small, he was smart.

When his patience had run out with his tormentor's abuse, he came up with a plan. Dad asked the bully to play a game with him. The game involved the bully standing as the Statue of Liberty and Dad would be the tugboat in the harbor circling him. The bully decided to give it a go and agreed to play.

Dad got a Croquet mallet to use as his masthead. Then he started circling around the bully, saying, "Toot toot! Toot toot!" After he circled a couple of times, Dad got behind the bully and whacked him right on the head with the Croquet mallet and knocked his ass out. TKO. Then he put the Croquet mallet down the bully's pants so that when he came to he couldn't get up and run right after him and Dad took off for safety.

The bully never messed with him again and was actually quite nice to Dad every day after that. But I don't think the bully ever had an interest in playing Statue of Liberty again though.

Hump Day Video Day-Sifl and Olly

2010-06-16T08:00:00.001-06:00

MTV use to have such good shows. I miss the days when they showed Daria, Clone High and music videos during day light hours. I also miss Sifl and Olly, the two greatest sock puppets to ever roam the earth.

I'm in a generous mood, so today is a twofer. First, we have the anthem of the nation...

And just in case you too have ever asked yourself, "Who DOES wash a hooker's clothes?", here's the musical answer for you...

Maybe I Can Make Him Into A Girlfriend?

2010-06-13T14:08:00.001-06:00

One of my biggest problems with online dating is no sparks.

Case in point: I finally got an email message from a guy on the website who is not immediately asking if I want to "get down" or some other ridiculous euphemism for having sex. He struck up a conversation regarding the paranormal and now it's moving to the realm of music since we both like The Smiths. And we both proclaim to be geeks, so we seem to have a lot in common.

This is a good email conversation!

But looking at his profile and pictures, I just feel like, "eh" and shrug my shoulders about him. He seems like someone that I could enjoy being around, but maybe more as a friend than a boyfriend. And I think it's because there's no sparks reading an email. There's no chemical reaction in my brain that makes me get all excited about the person who wrote the words that I am reading. And I feel like I need sparks.

But then I wonder if sparks are overrated. Is it something that movies have made up to make us think that they are a completely necessary component for a successful relationship and that those sparks help us to defy the odds and obstacles that come with a relationship? It seems like my dilemma here is very You've Got Mail, and it doesn't seem like that movie is very reality based. But maybe I'm wrong.

But it still feels like I need something more.

Anyway, if anyone has opinions then let me know. I've got to get back to paper mache-ing plastic bags and tape in hopes that it comes out looking like some form of a bird. And while I do it, I guess I'll ponder this whole thing some more.

Hump Day Video Day-Ani Difranco

2010-06-09T08:00:00.002-06:00

I can't believe that it has taken this long for me to put up some Ani tunes here. I decided to remedy that by posting one of my favorites from her.

And Ani, YOU are by far the cutest (Seriously, I just want to put her in my pocket and carry her around!)

Ani DiFranco - Little Plastic Castle (Live on VH1)
Uploaded by goldur. - Explore more music videos.

Dating Update

2010-06-09T00:36:00.000-06:00

So, the profile is back up on OKcupid all revamped with new descriptions and new pictures. It's getting new visitors and today I got an email from someone. Wow, that was quick! Maybe this will be a really good experience this time around!

And then I read his profile.

He's newly single and looking to make out a lot. He spends most of his free time thinking about sex and oral sex and the most personal thing he is willing to admit on his profile is that he has never been able to shoot his load from a blow job.

I'm so happy I learned all of this info about him. Yay.

I can only assume that he is spending a good portion of his day thinking about oral sex because he is trying to figure out if he just hasn't ever found a chick who knows what she's doing down there or if he has some issues to work out with a therapist's help.

Oh, and we ladies should email him if we are interested in someone to talk to.

Needless to say, I don't plan on emailing this class act back.

Wannabe Photographer Again

2010-06-08T08:00:00.001-06:00

More half assed photos by me that prove I'm very amateur but I liked regardless. Enjoy!

I Have A Confession To Make...

2010-06-05T16:43:00.000-06:00

...I'm thinking of trying out online dating again.

Because it's always been such a successful venture for me. **rolls eyes**

I'd like to have a boyfriend again and as Liz Phair says "I want all that stupid old shit like letters and soda". But that's easier said than done in my world because here's the thing; where I live you meet your significant other in one of two situations. Either A) at the bar or B) at church. I really don't care for going to the bar (at least not without an entourage of people who will get stupid drunk along with me) and I don't belong to a church here, so I'm kinda screwed. But not literally. And it would be nice to meet a nice guy who will literally screw me, ya know?

My mom asked me if there were any cute single dads at work, and that's a big no. But even if there was, I don't think I would want to go there. It seems like dating a dad of a kid at work would be like dating a coworker, and I have no interest in shitting where I eat. It's better to just keep work and social life separate.

So it seems to me that internet dating is my only option for meeting a man. The idea makes me cringe for several reasons, one being that I am anticipating meeting more guys like Van. But, the dating ads on Facebook have told me that this guy has been looking for me...

He's just dead sexy, isn't he?

If nothing else, I think my newest foray into online dating would produce some more hilarious blog posts. So even if I don't meet Mr.Right, I can at least meet Mr. Comical Date and entertain the masses with my stories. That, I can at least look forward to. But I think I need someone else to write a profile for me. I don't think I'm very good with the marketing strategies when I have to sell myself.

Any ideas of what I should say since I have no clue on what is attractive to men in the written word other than "I have a big rack"? I'm always open to suggestions...

Hump Day Video Day-Cat Power

2010-06-02T08:00:00.004-06:00

I did not know the awesomeness of Cat Power until recently. Since I have yet to hear anything from her that I don't like, I have a feeling that she is going to become a staple in my list of all time favorite recording artists. Though the lyrics are a bit sad, the melody and her voice have a way of putting me into a completely zen space when I listen to it.

Cat Power - The Greatest LIVE
Uploaded by donniedarko1979. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Real Life Funnies Part Two

2010-05-31T05:04:00.000-06:00

It's another edition of Real Life Funnies because with as much stuff as I laugh over on a daily basis, well, one edition was not enough. There's a lot in here from work, too. The kids keep me thoroughly entertained with what they say and how innocently they say it. Enjoy!

"I was like, "Eww, what's that smell? It smells like onions!" And then I realized it was me and I had forgotten to put on deodorant that day."

Dru, after being beaned with a ping pong ball by a ten year old boy: "I won't bother trying to get you back because I know that Karma will do it for me."

Ten year old boy: "Who's Carla?!"

While running away from a seven year old boy who keeps trying to snap my bra, I yell, "You know why they call it Victoria's Secret? Because YOU'RE not suppose to KNOW about it! So stop it!"

"I don't care if he has been in a relationship for 3 years with a woman. The back of his jeans were bedazzled. That doesn't scream manly, that screams I listen to show tunes!"

While walking in the house with some fresh picked catnip from the garden, it's announced, "Okay kitties, just like Bob Dylan says, everybody must get stoned!"

On a day when a few of the kids decided to try and hook me up with all of my male coworkers, little F declared, "You should marry T 'cause he can spit good!" After I stopped laughing hysterically I told F that spitting ability is one of the main things I'm looking for in a mate.

"I had a CPR class today. Doing mouth to mouth with the dummy was the most action I've gotten in months!"

Hump Day Video Day-Flight Of The Conchords

2010-05-26T08:00:00.000-06:00

I seriously LOVE Flight of the Conchords. If you're like me and enjoy silly humor, accents and music then make sure to rent both seasons of the show. Watching it will improve your quality of life, I swear. But for now, here's one of my favorite songs from the episode where Bret and Jemaine are thinking about pimping themselves out for extra cash...

Sugar Lumps (feat. Arj Barker) - Flight of the Conchords
Uploaded by vojha. - Sitcom, sketch, and standup comedy videos.

Random Crap About Me That You Really Don't Need To Know...

2010-05-21T17:00:00.000-06:00

...but I'm gonna tell you anyway.

Because it's all about me. I'm the human Happy Bunny, people.

So I want to tell you that...

I have a mole on the pad of my right pinky finger. It was really dark as a kid and bothered me, so I use to try and wash it off with Ajax. It's faded to a light brown now that I'm older, and I kinda miss it having a presence on my finger.

I'm pretty good at making up parody songs. And I usually make them up in the shower, which reaffirms to me the truth that the shower is the birthplace of great ideas. I also like to make shampoo mohawks like Ferris Bueller.

I got pregnant when I was 19. It wasn't meant to be though. I always had a feeling it would have been a boy, and though I'm glad in a way that I didn't have a baby with the psycho abusive boyfriend who knocked me up, I still think of the what ifs. It makes it hard to look at the 10 year old boys at work sometimes when those what ifs creep in my head because I wonder who he would be like and who he would be friends with.

My favorite Barbie when I was a kid was my Brooke Shields Barbie Doll. When she was made of plastic, it was quite easy to get between her and her Calvins, but she still had a pair of white granny panties painted on her. I played with that doll so much that her hair became all knotted and now it stands up and out like the Bride of Frankenstein and the wire in her legs is all broken and she looks deformed. And I say now because I still have that Barbie to this day.

I miss hearing my Dad and my great grandma (or Mum, as I called her) telling me their life stories and I wish now that I had paid better attention to all of the details they told me.

I also really miss watching my Dad make jewelry. He was a bench jeweler for over 40 years. I use to ask him questions about what he was doing and why he was doing it to each piece he made. If I ever annoyed him with the myriad inquiries, he never showed it.
I grind my teeth in my sleep.

I learned my first dirty jokes at church. Don't be fooled by Presbyterians; they are naughty minded folks.

I would love to learn how to do a beat box. If I knew how, I would probably walk around the house constantly spraying spit on everything, which is really gross, but I doubt I would care.

One of my nicknames is Bunny because I was due on Easter. My aunt and uncle came up with this for me. Had I been a boy, they would have nicknamed me Peter. And as a kid I was quite jealous of my uncle's skills at playing Mike Tyson's Punch Out.

A fun past time for me as a kid was getting out Ana's tennis racket to use as my "guitar" and work on my Nancy Wilson impersonation. I thought I looked super cool, and it cracked Ana up I'm sure.

And on that note, I'll leave you with a Heart video to watch. When you look at Nancy, think of me with a tennis racket looking a little less graceful...

Heart - Never
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Kindness

2010-05-20T21:08:00.000-06:00

I can remember 3rd grade pretty well. There's one event that sticks out particularly well and it made itself a fixture again in my mind earlier this week.

For reading class I had to go to the classroom next door which belonged to Mrs. Grisham. On this day, Mrs. Grisham had a projector pulled out into the room to use with her lessons and the cord extended from the middle of the room to the outlet in the back wall. I had to walk over it to get to my seat. But I didn't see the cord until my face was on the floor and my foot was caught up in it. My books, folder and especially my box of writing supplies exploded out before me on the carpet.

I heard, "Real smooth, *Dru*, real smooth." I turned my head to look up and saw Mrs. Grisham standing over me with a face twisted up in disgust just before she turned to walk away back to her desk.

Michael L. was a boy that used to tease me relentlessly. My mom thought he was a handsome little boy that would turn into a handsome man, but I thought he was a pain in the ass who couldn't be trusted not to flip my skirt up on the playground. But, on this day he was not that pain in the ass that I had come to know because as I turned back around to clean up my mess, he was already there picking it up for me.

I learned that day that kindness and meanness can each come from very unexpected places.

(Not that I ever expected much kindness from Mrs. Grisham. That woman was a bitch and a half and has hopefully retired by now so that no more children have to suffer being around her.)

I'm not sure why after twenty-some years this event popped back into my head in such a seemingly random fashion, but it's been on replay for the last few days and I've felt the need to share it. Maybe since I'm working with kids now, my brain is working out any issues that I had at their ages.

Forget maybe, I'm sure that's what it's doing.

But I'm glad it did. Being able to remember that event so clearly I can remember what life was like at that age and it reminds me that I never want to make a child feel the way Mrs. Grisham made me feel, which was so small, stupid and altogether bad.

And wherever you are Michael L., thanks for helping to pick up my stuff and making me feel better when the "adult" didn't. And thanks for not flipping my skirt up that day, too.

Hump Day Video Day-Rachael Yamagata

2010-05-19T08:00:00.027-06:00

It's a mellow hump day song for today. Enjoy the musical styling of Rachael Yamagata and her beautiful yet melancholy song Elephants.

Rachael Yamagata - Elephants
Uploaded by WBRNewMedia. - Explore more music videos.

Hump Day Video Day-Nanci Griffith

2010-05-12T08:00:00.000-06:00

I'm always kind of amazed that people don't pay more attention to the music that is played in movies. I've found a lot of good tunes just by watching films, like this one. I discovered this song way back in the day when I went to the theater to watch the movie Milk Money. You remember it don't you? It's one of those heartwarming hooker-finds-love-and-happiness films. Tried and true Hollywood formula stuff, but still cute to watch on a rainy day. The best part of the movie though in my opinion is when the credits roll (okay, that sounds a lot meaner and sarcastic than it's meant to be, sorry) and this song comes on. It causes my toes to tap uncontrollably. See if it has the same effect on you too...

Hump Day Video Day-Girl In A Coma

2010-05-05T08:00:00.003-06:00

HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!

I love Girl In A Coma and I want to adopt all of the members. They are 3 bad ass chicks with eclectic tastes in music, got inspiration for their band name from a song by The Smiths and one of them loves to go ghost hunting. And the lead singer has one of the most amazing voices that I have heard in years.

But enough gushing about my love for them! Let's celebrate Mexican history with a GIAC's punk rock cover of a Tejano song by Selena...

Potential

2010-04-29T00:04:00.000-06:00

"You need to lose weight honey. You're too pretty to be that big."

"You're too smart to be stuck in dead end jobs making so little money."

When I talk to my family, I find that I am apparently not living up to my potential.

But what is that anyway? This "potential" that people are suppose to live up to. And why does it seem so damn superficial?

I've been heavy about 11 years now. Thanks to a diet of Carl's Jr, Del Taco and chronic depression I skyrocketed from healthy weight to obesity within 6 months and once I got there, I wasn't able to shake it. Not that I liked being heavy; I just wasn't really motivated o do anything about it and it just wasn't that important to me to diet and be healthy. Until recently that is. These last 6 months have seen a negative 15+ pounds and the glorious victory of buying new jeans one size smaller. And that pace is fine with me. I don't expect to lose the weight as quickly as I gained it. But even when I am given a congratulations, it still gets followed up with "you're too pretty to be that big". What does pretty have to do with it? I want to lose the weight for my health, looking pretty is secondary. Do I want to look good? Sure, but it's not the important thing. I want to be able to run and play with the kids at work without getting winded. I want to eliminate some of the health problems that have been plaguing me because of my weight. Why does pretty have to be such a big deal? I've met plenty of pretty people who are complete assholes; does this mean because they are prettier and skinnier than me that they are living up to their potential more than me?

And what makes a person too smart for their job? Does this mean only stupid people are suppose to be in dead end jobs? If so, then something is amok in the universe because some of the dumbest people I've met are in middle management. Is a nun not living up to her potential if she vows a life of poverty? Everyone knows Mother Teresa for her good works and she lived in poverty. Does that mean she wasn't living up to her potential because she wasn't rolling in dough? I worked in a middle management career job and was miserable, so I bailed. I went on a quest to find a place to live and a job that made me happy which led me back to a town where most of my family resides and to a job where I get to hang out with kids and play and create art. I knew there was some place and some thing that would be better for me and I wasn't going to stick myself in a rut and not look for it. Was it nice not having to struggle to pay my bills before? Of course it was, but I don't see how living alone and going to a job that I began to abhor was living up to my potential. But because I made over twice as much an hour as I'm making now, some would disagree and say that I walked away from my potential.

Potential seems stupid and exhausting. Especially since it doesn't seem to have anything to do with being happy. And that's all I really want in life, just to be happy doing whatever I am doing wherever I happen to be doing it.

Okay, that's my rant for today. Now to leave you with something funny...

So maybe it's not too funny to Joe, but it makes me smile.

Hump Day Video Day-Noah and the Whale

2010-04-28T08:00:00.003-06:00

At work I have one coworker that I instantly liked when I met him. Considering that I am so paranoid and shy of people, I wasn't quite sure why I did like him so easily. But I must have been picking it up intuitively that his taste in music rawks, and that makes him super cool in my book.

Thanks to him, I have discovered one of my newest musical crushes, Noah and the Whale. This song makes me happy when I listen to it and I have a feeling it's because they are working the Ukulele in it. People can't feel sad when they listen to Ukuleles. Don't believe me? Well, have you ever seen someone come back from a trip to Hawaii bummed out? I haven't, therefore I believe Ukuleles to be instrumental Prozac. But then again, I could be biased and full of crap.

I'll shut up now and let you enjoy the song...

Noah and the Whale - "5 Years Time"
Uploaded by cherrytreerecords. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Hump Day Video Day-Ben Folds

2010-04-21T08:00:00.001-06:00

I seem to have a thing for artists that play the piano. My two all time favorite recording artists are Tori Amos and Ben Folds. Since we showed Tori some love a few weeks ago, it's Ben's turn now...

Okay, so this is technically a Ben Fold's Five song, but it's just Ben and I love this song so it's going in today. And yay for bootleg concert footage! Woo!

Ben Folds - "Army" from Matthew on Vimeo.

Bonus video! Ben's fans start off young, as you can see here. Shake a tail feather, girl...

The Who Can Care Less Dance from Lisa on Vimeo.

Hump Day Video Day-Brakesbrakesbrakes

2010-04-14T08:00:00.002-06:00

Okay, secret confession... my guilty MTV pleasure is watching My Life As Liz (You thought I was going to say Jersey Shore, didn't you? Didn't you?! Well, it's not, thank you God. I may be getting a bit too old to watch MTV, but I still have my standards.).

Another awesome bonus to the show and it's scripted life dramas and hilarity is the music. And since MTV doesn't have the decency to show real music videos anymore, they at least have the decency to show little captions that my old eyes can barely read on my small tv screen that tells you who is singing the glorious tunes in the background.

Which is how I found this band, Brakesbrakesbrakes. Please enjoy two minutes of catchy bliss right now...

Hump Day Video Day-School Of Seven Bells

2010-04-07T08:00:00.002-06:00

Let's start Wednesday off on a whimsical note today with School Of Seven Bells.

I discovered them on NewNowNext Music awhile ago when they showed this video, and I have yet to be sick of the song. I like how School of Seven Bells walked that line of sounding like New Age music without actually getting all creepy and/or sappy like New Age artists usually do. Their songs usually make me feel all mellow and happy; they're like musical marijuana, but you can listen to them and not get the munchies afterward. See if you agree with me...

There's A Reason These Clothes Are Being Resold And It's Not Because They Look Good...

2010-04-04T00:26:00.000-06:00

"Americans don't know how to dress anymore and I'm here to help them learn how to again!" she said and then handed me the most God awful turquiose dyed denim duster complete with feathers dangling from leather strips that accentuated the southwest designed fabric coming over the shoulders with the finishing detail of copper puffy paint outlining the fabric, just to give it that little extra oomph.

Puffy paint, people. I haven't bought a piece of clothing with puffy paint on it since 1989, and with good reason.

Because it's horrible and tacky.

Let me back up for a minute and explain. I've been helping my boss the Hairdresser the last few months with putting together a fashion show. It's her brain child for helping to boost the economy in the Old Town area of our city and she is putting it on with a make up consultant, a manicurist and a consignment clothing retailer. I have been the graphic artist for the shindig, putting together the posters and programs and I've also been getting the role of production assistant under my belt by running around getting supplies and helping to iron out details so that we've got it all going smoothly on the big day. I've been having a lot of fun with it and I am super stoked for it all to go down next week. But the Hairdresser also asked me to walk in the show.

Eep.

That part I am not so excited about, but I told her I would do it and I'm not going to leave her hanging. I had to go get fitted today at the clothing store, which was both comical and depressing all at the same time.

I thought that the store owner was going to put stuff aside for the models so that the clothing selection would be half taken care of when we all went in for our fittings. Turns out the plan now is for us to go through the store and find things that we would wear but just kicked up a notch from our actual daily living and the store owner and sales clerk are there to help us along in the process. The sales clerk (let's call her SC for short) made the declaration as stated above and then proceeded to pick out the world's most horrible clothing I have ever seen. Seriously people, there are senile citizens in nursing homes that wouldn't wear the stuff that was picked out for me today and most of them could give a rat's ass about how they look. That turquoise duster was the first thing I was given, and then I was handed a baby shit brown colored crew neck top and a black velvet floor length skirt to pair up with it.

"Women don't wear enough dresses, so I'm pushing the skirts and dresses for people to wear!"
I looked like a bloated Stevy Nicks on a drug binge who had lost all sense of dignity.

I'm not a skinny chick. I'm tall so it's hard to tell exactly how overweight I am, but I'm still big enough that you don't dress in baggy, shapeless clothing and then layer it. My mother wouldn't have let me out of the house in that ensemble. And if she did, she wouldn't be hanging out with me in public while I was dressed like that.

The SC mentioned that no one had picked out looks for the business wear run, so I thought we could explore those options. "I could rock a business look since I use to do it in my Corporate America days," I told her. She led me to a rack of '80s business suits and stated how great they are but no one ever gets them.

That's because no one wears them anymore, honey.

Okay, I take it back. At my last job in the health care industry there was one woman in marketing that wore them all of the time. She was 70. She also made sure to match a purple colored lipstick to her purple colored suits. It was a nice touch.

The SC also kept picking out clothing for me that were size 11/12. I'm a 16, and I told her this before we started looking for clothes. Then she would wonder why they wouldn't fit. Finding garments that fit other people who give you their size is apparently rocket science. I was not aware of that until today though.

After about 10 pieces that were just too small, I was presented a dress that looked like it was made out of a burlap sack (complete with fringe, because nothing sets off itchy burlap like fringe. Except for beads, which it was also rockin'.). When that didn't work, we tried a pink on pink silky polyester top complete with mushed up shoulder pads that looked so ridiculous I laughing like Muttely from Wacky Races as I looked in the mirror. By that time, I was so done with trying on ugly clothes and I suggested that I come back Monday to see if we have better luck. But before I left, there was one more piece that she wanted me to mull over and see if I would consider wearing it for the show. "You're tall; you could pull this off! It's really a jacket that a woman who goes to Las Vegas one weekend a year needs."

It was a gold lame' jacket, which I am pretty sure comes complete with it's own set of shoulder pads as well. I could wear it with the pink on pink shirt and look super classy.

I may have to sneak my own clothes into the show. Wish me luck.

7 Year Olds And Lady Antebellum

2010-04-01T21:30:00.000-06:00

Lady Antebellum is obviously a musical force to be reckoned with, seeing as how they are invading the pop charts now that they have conquered the country charts. Which is cool with me since I dig their tunes.

The kids at work also dig their tunes. And the song "Need You Now" is one of the earworms that get stuck in the kids brains. But none of the kids have the entire song memorized.

There is really only one part of the song that they have memorized. And they sing it over and over and over and over...

So imagine driving a van that has a busted stereo so the kids sing during the car ride to make up for it. And all you here over and over again is a chorus of about ten seven year olds singing in those high pitched children voices, "It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now."

Freakin' hysterical!

Hump Day Video Day-Weird Al Yankovic

2010-03-31T08:00:00.005-06:00

It's the last Wednesday of March, so let's do something fun and have a Weird Al twofer today. Why don't we start it off with some music and listen to one of his classics...

And now for some interview comedy, and as an added bonus, Madonna's face before she started getting old and her looks started changing with all of the plastic surgery that she's not getting done...

Oh Weird Al, I know you are married with kids now, but if your relationship status ever changes, please call me. Your hair is freaky, but I wuvs you so!

Wannabe Photographer

2010-03-31T01:50:00.000-06:00

Most of the blogs I frequent are by amazingly talented photographers who take pictures that make me go, "Oooooooooh, puuuuuuuuurdy...". I spend most of my blog reading time dealing with some serious photo envy.

This week I have nothing really interesting or witty to say, so I thought I would go ahead and post pics that I've taken and make a weak attempt at showing off my photography skills which are like, well, almost nonexistent. Here are examples of what a bored-and-wishing-she-was-more-talented-with-a-camera-and-wishing-her-Adobe-Photoshop-Elements-program-was-compatible-with-Vista person equipped with Picasa can do:

Cleo

Gerbera Daisy Gone Crazy With Color

Palm Cross Found In An Abandoned & Dilapadated House In Globe AZ

Random Tree On The Side Of Mingus Mountain

Katie

I've decided that once my sprained ankle is totally healed that I am going to go on random walks through town armed with my ancient digital camera and take pictures in order to keep myself entertained, so those who frequent the blog might get goobered with more of my amateur photography and overuse of the "soft focus" element in Picasa. Just to warn ya and all that junk...

My First Guest Blog, WOOHOO!!

2010-03-25T02:26:00.001-06:00

Have you ever read The Colors Magazine? If not, you're missing out. It's chock full of awesome stuff and now it has a little piece of me in it as well. The fabulous Lena gave me a chance to babble about bands I love and I am super excited about it to say the least! Go check it out right here, right now!

Hump Day Video Day-Tori Amos

2010-03-24T08:00:00.001-06:00

ALL HAIL TORI AMOS!!

(I love her, just in case you couldn't tell by that last sentence.)

I'm not even going to babble about the song today. I'm just going to shut up and let you listen. Press play and enjoy the awesomeness of Tori...

Tori Amos - Maybe California from David Tsiklauri on Vimeo.

Facebook, Cats And Friends As Wacky As Me

2010-03-18T21:40:00.001-06:00

I'm a bit of a Facebook addict. Which is sad in many ways, but also very fun in many ways.

I love to put random things in my status updates and lucky for me, I have friends who will add to the randomness so that hilarity may follow. When talking to my buddy CV the other day, she reminded me of this fb conversation and how she was laughing so hard that her husband came in from the other room to see what the ruckus was about. I figured it was worth posting here and sharing with everyone on the interwebs. Enjoy!

*Dru* wants to come back in her next life as a cat, but isn't too keen on the whole licking/smelling butts thing...

CV: Dru, you make my day!

Dru: lol, I try! :D

DHB: ROFL! Dru, you always manage to bring things down to their bare essence!

CS: LOL! I'd have to add hairballs to that list. UGH!

DHB: Not crazy about litter boxes either...phew!

CV: OMG! You guys have to stop-I'm crying I'm laughing so hard!

CL: And being painfully in heat... causing your mom to drive you somewhere to get spayed! Oh no!

DHB: And have you eaten cat food? I'm on retirement pension now so I'll have to acquire a taste for it!

CV: And the dogs chasing you? Or getting stuck in the tree having to have the fire dept come get you out - how embarrassing! ;-)

DHB: And then some moron tries to put a sweater on you... oh, the shame of it all!

CV: NOOOOOO... Not the sweater! Ok, that's the worst yet!

CS: LOL! Having kids drop you from high places just to see if you'll REALLY land on your feet... But other than all of that... I totally agree that it would be awesome to be a cat.

DHB: Yeah, you don't have to work, you have people taking care of you and you can lie around all day... wait I'm doing that now!

CV: And rubbing your belly?

DHB: Hmm... I'll have to discuss that with my wife :0)

CV: You're being cheated - get a new owner! JK!

Dru: Okay, my human is going to do things right, starting off with Meow Mix Hairball formula. It's AMAZING! Just ask Oliver's hairy hairy butt. Second, outdoor cats can go in the petunisa, so the litter box is avoided. And the plus to being spayed is no hormones and no unwanted pregnancies. I know some humans that need to be spayed and thankfully some of them already have been. And have you eaten Borsch? I'd rather have the cat food, thank you. And dogs, pfft! One bitch slap with claws fixes that problem, and my human will be very happy with me getting stuck in a tree if it brings HOT FIREMEN, oh yeah!!! Sweaters are for small quivering dogs, not for cats, no! No cat person would do that, unless it gets the cat a pic on I Can Haz Cheezeburger and makes the cat famous and funny, then it's cool. And what was done to the dog will be done to the kids that try to drop me, 'nuff said there.
But if I can't come back as a cat, then coming back as a retired city employee is cool too :D

CS: LMAO! You told us. Perfect... you have it all worked out except the butt smelling/licking just like ya said.

Dru: Yup yup :D

ED: Lmao that's so funny!

Hopefully you're in happy tears by now as well. If not, I guess you had to be there, or you just aren't as fun insane as the rest of us...

And the DHB is Dave's Hockey Blog. If you haven't read it, you should. Do it now!

Hump Day Video Day-All Time Low

2010-03-17T08:00:00.000-06:00

Another bonus to my newest job where I work with kids is that they have introduced me to new bands. I dig how fanatical they can be over them, too. I give them paper, crayons, paint or clay and tell them to make whatever makes them happy, and they create shrines to Paramore, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson.

(I just don't understand the fascination with Justin Bieber though. I think it means I'm getting old. Dammit...)

This was a band that one of the older girls, B, told me about and told me specifically to check out this song. It's sad and lovely all at the same time. And misleading in the the lyrics; when you get to the end, it sounds like the song is about death, but apparently the singer has said in interviews that it's not, but it is about a chick that he wrote more songs about. Either way, I'm glad B shared with me so I could share with you...

Hump Day Video Day-Lloyd Price & Pop Waffle

2010-03-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

It's a double dose of my favorites today!

Not only do we have the amazing oldie tune Stagger Lee, but we have a video made by Pop Waffle to accompany it. SWOON! I love this song and I love pretty much every Pop Waffle video, so I was pretty stoked to find this video and of course I had to share it with everyone. And if you are like me and enjoy crayon drawings, damn cool music and sarcasm, then you should go raid Pop Waffle's stash of YouTube videos when you leave here.

I bet my mom still has a 45 of this song in storage. I want it when she croaks someday (I'm a greedy whore like that sometimes, but it's cool because she'll be happy that her 45's won't be sold on ebay.).

Happy Hump Day!

The Snooki-Ke$ha Parody

2010-03-09T01:17:00.000-07:00

Just the other day I put a status update on facebook proclaiming how I hate that Tik Tok song by Ke$ha and the way it gets stuck in my head (I mean really, I love my Jack as much as the next girl, but I'm not brushing my teeth with it. Not until it has fluoride at least.). But tonight I found a version that I am totally okay with taking up residence in my noggin.

Venetian Princess is like Weird Al, but with boobs and a much prettier face. Enjoy...

It Was Time For A New Look...

2010-03-08T19:10:00.000-07:00

...but I'm not sold on if this should be the one I keep.

Ana gave her blessing to change it up from the old pink design, and I stumbled upon a free blog background website that I am really digging called Shabby Blogs.

But I need feedback and suggestions on this whole new background on the blog because I'm a chick and an insecure, waffling one at best. The floor is open to anyone who wants to say yay or nay to this design and color scheme...

Proof That I Am Easily Entertained

2010-03-07T23:53:00.000-07:00

This probably could have been used for a Hump Day video, but I decided to post it early. I discovered this on the home page for Vimeo and found myself entranced by all of the little finger puppets and wondering why I couldn't have thought up a video like this to do first. Oh, yeah, I don't own a video camera, so I can't do stuff like this anyway. Siiiiiiiigh.

And there is apparently some kind of hidden puzzle in the video and a prize to be won if you email the dude who made it. I didn't figure it out, but I was too lazy to do it. If you figure it out, feel free to tell me because though I'm lazy, I'm still intrigued to find out what it is...

Cheap Pop Song from Rhett Dashwood on Vimeo.

Hump Day Video Day-Camera Obscura

2010-03-03T08:00:00.002-07:00

I have a new band crush and it's on Camera Obscura. Just when I thought that I had hit a wall and I wasn't finding anything new that tickled my fancy, they come blazing in with this intoxicating little melody. Plus they are Scottish, which means that when they aren't singing they are talking with accents, which only makes me love them more. I need to save up my money now because it turns out that I have several new albums to buy. You may have the same dilemma after you watch this video too, so I'll just shut up now and let you enjoy. Happy hump day!

A Six Year Old Gave Me A Bridget Jones Moment

2010-03-02T20:30:00.001-07:00

Do you remember that part of Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason where she's in the Thai prison and realizing that her reasons for dumping Mark Darcy were kind of stupid?

A six year old made me feel like Bridget Jones did the other day.

The kids I work with at my one job will ask a lot of questions about my life. It's nice that they are interested, but I really don't want to share too much with them, so I always try to keep answers simple and short. While sitting on the grassy field and letting the girls make me pretty (aka style my hair in a rat's nest and add a headband. It's an awesome look.), they asked me something along the lines if I was going to show my new do to my boyfriend. When I replied that nope I wouldn't be because I didn't have one anymore, one of my favorite kids, F, started asking me questions.

F: "Why you not have a boyfriend anymore?"

Dru: "Well, he wasn't being that nice to me."

F: "Was he hitting you?"

Dru: "Um, no, he just wasn't as nice as he could be to me."

F: "Was he cheating on you?"

Dru: "Um, no, he wasn't cheating on me, F. Are you done with my hair yet? Let me see!"

The first thought through my mind was, "My God, how does a six year old know about this stuff?! What the hell does she hear at home?!", and then the next was, "Man, maybe I was an ass for dumping CPB. Maybe he wasn't all that bad."

I definitely have had remorse this past week since breaking it off with CPB. I miss him. And I wish that I hadn't ended it in such a hasty, hormonal and bitchy way. Even if he wasn't being the best boyfriend, he still deserved a better break up than a voicemail message saying have a nice life. And then I've had these random run ins with his friends around town where they show up at places I've never seen them before and shouldn't be seeing them, like one time last week at the elementary school (They don't see me though because I try to hide. I'm like, brave and stuff that way.). It freaks me out seeing his friends, but then it also makes me feel like he and I are still connected even though I haven't spoken to him since I dropped off his stuff at work. That makes it hard to move on, too.

I take it all with a grain of salt though and realize that it's probably normal to feel this way after a break up and applaud myself for not calling him. Normally I would be calling my ex by now, trying to make peace and be friends because in my head I'm thinking, "Oh look, a dead horse! I wonder if I have anything to hit it with. Smack, smack, smack..." I figure laying low is the right thing to do and if there is any hope for us to be friends that it can't be forced. Since we didn't date that long, I'm hoping that I can at least have one ex in the state of Arizona that I am on good terms with. And if not, oh well. Even if I feel like Bridget Jones, life is not a movie where things come together perfectly within two hours. I have to just let it all go and realize my mistakes and not let them happen in the future.

But seriously, why am I seeing his friends driving through the parking lot of the elementary school? That's just kind of creepy, even if it is a coincidence. Weird.

Another Funny Because It's True Moment

2010-02-25T20:44:00.001-07:00

For those who don't know, I just got another job last month working with kids. So different from all of my past Corporate America jobs, and so far I like it a lot. Especially because of days like yesterday. Here's the story...

Wednesdays are early dismissal days for the kids, so a lot of the time we use the gym and playground at the closest elementary school so that the kids can play off a bunch of their energy. It's also a bonus that I get to swing, go down slides and play tetherball with them because I'm a kid in a bigger body than them. While hanging out on the playground, two of the 6 year olds, A and C came over to tell me some news.

Enter giggling children

A: "Hey, guess what! C's mom got a ticket!" C sits there with a big grin on her face.

Dru: "Oh no!"

A: "Yeah! She wasn't wearing her seat belt!"

Dru: "Well that's not good." Watches C giggling some more

A: "Yeah, it was because of her new boobs! She said the seat belt was hurting them!"

A belly laugh so loud the kids and staff inside the gym had to hear erupts from my gut

Breast implants-$5,000.00

A traffic ticket for not wearing your seat belt-$300.00

Having your 6 year old daughter tell her friends about it and have those kids pass the story on to all of their friends and all of the adults they know-priceless

Hump Day Video Day-Straylight Run

2010-02-24T08:00:00.004-07:00

Straylight Run needs to get back together and get signed to a new label because they make awesome songs. Here's proof.

I use to think that Van Morrison's Tupelo Honey was the most romantic song ever, until I listened to this song. When it plays, I want to hop in the car and follow the directions that he's giving out. Here's a live acoustic version to delight your ears on this fine Wednesday...

Well, He Got The Message

2010-02-21T17:41:00.000-07:00

Part of me wishes he hadn't gotten it, but then the other part of me keeps trying to remind myself that if one of my friends was being treated like he was treating me then I would tell her to bail on her guy and look for better. But it's always easier to look in from the outside and dole the obvious advice out.

Like I said in the last post, the sparkle and shine had worn off from Cute Produce Boy real quick. Though he's likable and charming, he's also a bit selfish and unwilling to let his guard down for a girl. I have my walls and guard up too, but being in a relationship with someone who isn't letting theirs down made me just as unwilling to let mine down for him.

He told me once that he wasn't ever going to tell me that he loved me. He said that he had said I love you to a couple of girls before me and since it had ended badly each time, he wouldn't be falling in love with me. That was almost a deal breaker when he uttered those words to me. I say almost because like a typical chick, I thought maybe I would be the one to change him and break through. And I justified that it would put less pressure on our relationship by not involving the L word. But I was fooling myself; I want to be loved and hear it and I want to reciprocate that emotion for the one I'm with. I don't know how else to be in a relationship and I don't view that as a bad or weak thing.

But I think the worst was feeling like he didn't think I was worth hanging out with or getting to know. We never went out on a real date, ever. We didn't do anything for Valentine's Day, which wouldn't have bothered me, except that he was telling his friends that he was going to spend time with me, then didn't. His excuse was that he felt like shit after drinking too much at a concert the night before. A concert that he had invited me to go to with him 2 weeks before, but then at the last minute went with just his friends. And one day when I was giving him a hard time that he had never heard me sing, he told me flat out that he didn't want to and he didn't want to learn too much about me because, again, of bad experiences with past girlfriends.

CPB doesn't just have walls, he also has a moat filled with alligators blocking anyone from getting in. And I'm not fit enough to swim that fast or climb that high.

I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop so I could run the other way and I took the opportunity last night.

I've always been the one that puts her all into a relationship and even when it's past the point of obvious that it's not going to work out, I'll beat that dead horse and try to make it work. And I think that's why today I'm feeling guilty about breaking up with CPB; I'm not as wanting or willing to do that with him as I have been in my past with previous boyfriends. I don't think I'm the one that screwed this all up, and I've adopted the philosophy that you shouldn't love a man more than he loves you (don't confuse it with the saying about don't love someone more than you love yourself, it's not the same thing.), so it wouldn't be fair to me if I went chasing after him. He's obviously pretty broken, and I don't have the glue to put Humpty Dumpty back together, especially since now I need to put myself back together first. If we're meant to get back together, he's the one who is going to have to put the effort in. But I doubt that that's even going to happen. Since he never wanted to get to know me, how can he know what he lost?

Anyway, on to the next. If I was able to land CPB in the first place, then there's got to be a guy out there that I can snag that's even better than him. I just hope it doesn't take years again to find the next though. My ovaries are drying up as I type this and my Mom is starting to bug me for grandkids, but that's a totally different blog post for a different day.

And since this post was all heavy and depressing and junk, lets use a graphic to lighten the mood before we go...

Stick A Fork In Me...

2010-02-21T00:16:00.000-07:00

...because I am so done with this cougar shit. It's not all it's cracked up to be.

The sparkle and shine wore off from Cute Produce Boy real quick. In some ways I have been very content with him, but in other ways I've been wanting something more than he's been giving.

And I don't think I'm wanting much really. I wanted to go see a movie tonight with him, so yesterday I asked him out on a date. Even though we've been seeing each other for weeks now, we've never had a real date yet and I wanted one. But he flaked out on me. And it wasn't the first time he had flaked on me either. Bullshit reasons were passed to me as of why by way of text messages and after a few hours of fuming, I decided to dump him, so I gave him a call and did just that.

But the battery is dead on his phone, so I left him a message.

The little shithead will get it tomorrow.

Think that's mean and immature of me? It probably is. But since I'm battling a raging sinus attack and I'm on my period, I don't really care. Hormones and an overdosing of sinus and allergy pills have me immune to any emotion other than scorned woman rage. Thank God I haven't touched any alcohol tonight, because if I had then the stuff he's left at my house would probably be in a bonfire right now. But, I at least have enough sense at the moment to leave it alone and return it to him nicely, even if it does seem like more than he deserves.

So CPB turned out to be a Daniel Cleaver. With my taste in men I expected as much, but still, ain't that a bitch...

And for those wondering why tonight's events would cause me to go into crazy girlfriend/ex-girlfriend mode, don't worry, I won't leave you hanging. I'll put it all into coherent written thoughts within the next few days. Just not tonight. I have to let the hormones/sinus/anger trifecta from hell wane down a little first.

Hump Day Video Day-Jenny Lewis

2010-02-17T08:00:00.004-07:00

Jenny Lewis is one of those indie darlings. You find her performing at the uber cool festivals like Coachella, being watched by uber cool celebrities like Reese Witherspoon. So why is Jenny Lewis not more famous?! It's unfair I say. But at least I can show her some love on my blog by presenting Dru and Ana's 10 loyal readers with the video that led me to love Jenny Lewis's music. I think it was the whole Hee Haw set that sucked me in. I love Hee Haw! You all watch this, then go youtube old episodes of Hee Haw...

JENNY LEWIS AND THE WATSON TWINS - RISE
Uploaded by huntylch. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Hump Day Video Day-Motion City Soundtrack

2010-02-10T08:00:00.001-07:00

Happy Humpday! Remember when I talked about my love for Motion City Soundtrack's music and the lead singer's crazy hair? I thought you should get to see his hair in action. That, and enjoy a brand spankin' new song from their brand spankin' new album. Here is one of my new favorites, Her Words Destroyed My Planet. Good tunes, crazy hair and science fairs; ah yeah, this video has a little something for everyone...

Okay, I'm feeling generous today. Here's one of my favorites from their first album, I Am The Movie called Indoor Living. No awesome hair in this video, but the music is still worth the listen. Enjoy!

Hump Day Video Day-Neko Case

2010-02-03T08:00:00.003-07:00

I love Wednesdays here at Dru and Ana. Hopefully you all do, too...

This is one of those songs that landed itself into the category of "earworm" when I first heard it. I love her voice, I love the melody, and I especially love the lyrics and the images that they create in my head.

And Neko Case is able to make this song sound just as sublime live as she does in a studio. Watch and listen, then go on a downloading spree of her music. You won't be sorry.

One Of The Important Ones

2010-01-30T21:50:00.000-07:00

I have horrible taste in men, of that I am certain. There are few ex-boyfriends that I recall from my past and I don't automatically ask myself "what the F#$K did I see in him?!" But there is always one that stands out above the rest as the best and most important boyfriend there ever was.

His name was Memo (Okay, stop laughing and asking what the hell kind of name is that; it was a nickname because he was junior in his family.). We were both somewhere around fifteen/sixteen years old and went to high schools about twenty minutes away, which seems like twenty hours away when you are a teenager lacking a drivers license.

We met through our mutual friend Angela. She was a social butterfly that loved being on the phone. Even when I was over at her house hanging out she was always talking to someone. It was like the telephone was permanently affixed to her skull. She also loved putting me on the phone to talk to her friends. This was usually an uncomfortable event for me since I have always been a shy person. Shyness was nearly debilitating when I was younger; seriously, when I was twelve, I was scared to order my food at restaurants and would have my folks do it for me. But with Memo it was never like that. Whenever we were on the phone together, conversation flowed effortlessly and I was never in a rush to hand the receiver back to Ang.

All of my life I have been told I am pretty. I won in the genetic lottery and I'm grateful. But one of the reasons I was so shy was because I didn't think I was interesting or that I had anything of importance to say. Memo never made me feel that way. He always made me feel special and I always had fun with him, and this was just over the phone.

It wasn't long before I developed a crush on him. Imagine my delight and surprise when I found out that he had one on me, too. The three of us arranged a day to meet so that Memo and I could finally see each other face to face, and of course we needed Angela there because Memo and I were both nervous as hell to be meeting in person. We both had those typical insecurities and worries that the other would turn and run in horror and disgust when we met. But all of those worries were pointless because we both liked each other as soon as we saw each other.

We dated for all of one week. So high school, right? But it didn't end on a bad note. Like I said before, a twenty minute drive seemed like a twenty hour drive to an unlicensed teen and we both knew after a week that we would never get to see each other on a regular basis and that even though we liked each other a lot, we were better off as friends. Had we each been a little older and in possession of reliable transportation, it probably would have been much different. When I look back though, I wouldn't have changed a thing. Memo was the one who taught me that I was more than just my looks to a guy. If it hadn't been for him, I might still have a view that all of my romantic suitors only come around because I have a pleasing countenance. He changed not only my opinion of men (or at that time, boys), but also of myself and helped me realize how much more I had to offer to people. I don't think I ever told him how he did that to me and for me.

I hope I find another like him someday, but it's usually hard to catch lightning in a bottle twice.

I'd also like to hear stories from others. If you've got one, leave me a comment and make my day...

Hump Day Video Day-Morrissey

2010-01-27T10:00:00.003-07:00

IT'S WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!

Morrissey is a musical demigod. This is his first appearance on Hump Day Video Day, but don't expect it to be his last. Since my second job is working for a hairdresser, I felt it was only appropriate to include Hairdresser On Fire into my weekly bit of musical bliss. It's bliss for me at least. Hopefully you all enjoy listening to the songs as much as I enjoy finding them. It keeps me just so busy. Busy busy (Too corny? Okay, I'll shut up now.)

Snitches Wear Black Fur Coats And Purple Collars

2010-01-25T11:00:00.006-07:00

You all know Bella right?

She's my little 24 toed freak and light of my life. Her favorite place to sleep is on my bed and when I'm in it with her she prefers to sleep right in between my legs. And I don't think she cares much for the fact that I have a boyfriend.

Don't believe me? Listen to this story here...

Cute Produce Boy came over the other night after work to watch movies. Since CPB works a swing shift, this means he came over pretty late. My mom was not too keen on the idea of CPB spending the night, made obvious by her asking not once but twice if I was taking him home after the movie. (Have I ever mentioned that CPB does not drive? I cannot seem to find a man with his own wheels. But unlike my date with Van, he made it clear up front that he doesn't drive and why, so I find it forgivable with CPB. Hypocritical? Probably. And CPB is a lot better looking than Van, so that might have influenced my opinion a little. Oh well.)

CPB lives with his parents, just like I do. And his parents dead bolt their door at night. Considering that it was almost three in the morning, he didn't want to have to wake everyone in the house so he could go home and I didn't blame him. So, I made the decision to sneak him back into my house. Mom would never find out. I would be stealthy and slick about it and have him out of the house in the morning before she woke up. And since my dad L works the graveyard shift, goes to bed as soon as he gets home and never comes into my room uninvited, he would never know either. My plan was brilliant. Juvenile, but brilliant nonetheless.

And I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for that meddling cat.

It was easy enough sneaking CPB back in the house. Despite the hiccup of mom still being awake when we returned, we at least had the foresight to have CPB stay outside so I could make sure the coast was clear. She went to bed and I waited a few minutes before opening the front door quietly and calling CPB inside.

The next morning seemed to go without a hitch. When we woke up, both parents were asleep in their room and I even had enough time to shower and put on my make up before taking CPB home. It wasn't until later in the afternoon that I found out that we had been caught earlier that morning.

Mom asked me, "Did you bring *CPB* back home with you last night?"

"Why?"

"Well, L left a note here." She shows me the note that says 'Who is in bed with Dru?! I'm not happy.' Crap.

Turns out, when L came home from work that morning, Bella was whining and and acting all freaked out. Not typical behavior for her, except that she is generally freaked out by people that she either doesn't know or barely knows and here was one sleeping in her bed with her human. But, since L was not aware of CPB's presence in my room, he took her behavior as a feline Lassie trying to tell him that something was wrong with me.

What's that girl? Dru fell down a well?

L got worried and checked on me, only to find that nothing was wrong except that I was contently sleeping with a guy he has yet to meet. Oy.

So much for my brilliant plan. No wonder I didn't attempt this stuff when I was a teenager, I obviously do not have a knack for it. At least one perk of being a thirty year old who has just moved back home is that I can't get grounded anymore.

Another CPB Story

2010-01-24T18:38:00.001-07:00

I need to give up on analyzing boys. I always get it wrong.

I had just about given up on Cute Produce Boy this week. Remember how in my last CPB post I talked about how he flaked on me and I was having a hard time dealing with a guy that wasn't sucking all of my time? After writing it all out and receiving encouraging comments from people who TOTALLY ROCK (you know who you all are) I had started making peace with all of my fears and reservations and decided that being with CPB was definitely something that I wanted to pursue. Only problem? Homeboy wasn't calling me. And I was too proud/scared to call him.

I tried to feel mellow about it. Tried to take a nonchalant attitude of, "Whatever, it's not like he's my boyfriend. He has no obligation to call." But I knew I was lying to myself when I observed how many carb ridden foods were entering my mouth as band-aids for sad emotions. And I was doing the girl thing of running into the house and checking my answering machine after I returned from every outing that took more than ten minutes. Mind you, this was only two days after the last time I had talked to him. By Tuesday night, I was feeling pretty down about it. I was still up at one in the morning and decided to torture myself by scrolling through my caller id and see how many times he didn't call. Oh, the joys of being neurotic...

BUT WAIT! HE DID CALL! About two hours earlier, there was a call from him that I missed while I was in the shower. A happy dance and little squeals of excitement were performed all around my bedroom. Both of which were stopped abruptly when the thought popped into my head, "But why didn't he leave a message?" That thought led to the analyzing thoughts of "Maybe he hates answering machines? No, he must have been calling to get his cds back but didn't want to leave a message like that on the machine. He'd rather say it in person."

By Wednesday afternoon, I put on my big girl panties and call him. Even though he didn't leave a message, I decided the fact that he was on my caller id gave me permission to call him back. It went straight to voice mail, but I didn't want the occasion of wearing my big girl panties to go to waste, so I left him a message asking if he still wanted to hang out this week and told him to give me a call. The rest of the evening produced no call back. Thursday the same. When I woke Friday morning, I had decided that he was obviously no longer diggin' my chili and that we were over as fast as we began. I knew that I would see him at work that day, so I put all of the stuff that CPB let me borrow together so I could take it with me and return it. But, like the Alzheimer's patient that I am lately, I walked out of the house without it. I guess there was a reason for it though.

On top of feeling sad about CPB, my throat has been sore and my face has been breaking out like a thirteen year old making me feel very gross. Needless to say, I was walking around with a face like a scabby cat's ass for most of the day. The store he works in was the last on my route for the day and I was dreading it. As soon as I got there, he found me. I was resolved to be distant and cold so I could protect myself, but that's impossible. I wanted to smile almost as soon as I saw him because the smiles he gives me are just infectious. And after he told me that he had been out of minutes on his phone and had just gotten my message that day, I finally allowed myself to start grinning.

"When you didn't call me back, I thought you had gotten sick of me already."

"No, you have yet to be sickened."

Full smile on my face at that point. I knew how he meant it, but with my throat feeling the way it does, the irony of the statement was not lost on me.

There's one thing I did though that I don't understand. When he mentioned that he called me Tuesday night, I lied and said I didn't know that he had. I just did it so automatically though that I couldn't stop myself. But as soon as I did it, I thought how stupid it was to lie about. Was it a defense mechanism? An emotional wall because I didn't want him to know how much it meant to me that he would call? I'm still trying to figure it out. And as it turns out, he doesn't like leaving messages on answering machines. That's what I get for analyzing him. I need to stop trying to figure him out and figure myself out.

We hung out later that night, and it was worth the wait all week to be with him. He admitted that he had been a bad boyfriend by not calling for most of the week. Two great things in that sentence, 1) he can admit that he screwed up a little and b) he called himself my boyfriend. It's been so long since I've been someone's girlfriend. It's scary in a way to have that label again, but I'm glad it's with him. I have a feeling that no matter how long this relationship runs, it's going to be one that could make me a better person to be in a relationship with, and that's a good journey to be on.

Hump Day Video Day-Death Cab For Cutie

2010-01-20T10:00:00.005-07:00

I think Death Cab For Cutie is amazing. Enough said. Here's one of their older tunes that became an earworm as soon as I first heard it.

Death cab for cutie - Title and registration
Uploaded by s_tancredi. - Explore more music videos.

And Then The Fears And Doubts Start To Creep In

2010-01-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

I have a serious problem. I have no fucking clue on how to be in a romantic relationship.

None.

Nada.

Zip... you get the idea.

It's only been a little over a week since I went to Cute Produce Boy's show and though I feel happy when I'm with him, I keep wanting to run the other way far, far away from him. Not because he's a bad guy, but because I am so use to being alone and I can feel neurotic psycho hose beast taking over my brain. And I don't like it.

For example, there were two days this past week that we were suppose to hang out, but he flaked on me. The first time, he offered an alternate day to go out and we did and had a good time. He flaked on me again yesterday saying that he had to help his dad with an automotive project and again offered some alternate days during this week for us to hang out. If he didn't like me, I'm sure he would just say let's hang out another day and not bring up specifics days for plans. And it's not like my day was ruined; I ended up going shopping in Prescott with my Mom and had a great time with her like I always do, but I was so peeved about him canceling on me for the second time that I was ready to take CPB back his sweater and cds that he let me borrow and tell him to go to hell.

I also let my brain get wrapped up in thinking. I over-think everything and start contemplating all of the reasons that we shouldn't be together. His crutches and insecurities are coming out right at the gate, and then I wonder if I can deal with someone else's baggage. It's one of these pits that I think most people fall into, where you start dating someone and you expect there to be no issues attached to them. It's ignorant to do but I've done it anyway with him. Some of my preconceived notions regarding CPB have already been shot to hell, and because he's not all I made him to be in my mind, then I start wondering if I want him at all. It's not fair, but in my defense, I'm screwed up.

See, a few of the problems I'm carrying into this are that I have severe trust issues and it's been 3 years since my last boyfriend, who coincidentally caused half of the trust issues I have now. My last boyfriend, T, either covered up or sugar coated things from his past in a confection spun web of lies that I bought in the beginning hook, line and sinker. Once I started uncovering the truth in his stories, I was abhorred that I would ever have someone like him in my life much less be in a romantic relationship with a person like that. I'm not going to go into the gory details now about all of those lies, but finding them out and dealing with emotional and verbal abuse that surfaced after only a few months of our relationship ruined me for relationships. I'm sure it's why I've gone through a 3 year drought. It's not like I don't ever get male attention; I was and I would shy away from it, keeping interested men at a distance. I thought that I had worked through those issues and was ready to let someone in finally, but I feel like CPB has proven me wrong and that I'm still not ready.

Plus, another problem I have is getting into relationships where I am attached at the hip to a guy. Every waking moment gets spent together and it gets to a point that if one makes a run by themselves to Walmart for shampoo then the other gets mad that they were left behind. I seem to always always always get into those relationships and I haven't wanted another one. I've wanted to find someone where there was more to his world than just sitting around my house and taking over my remote control. My ex fiance was like this, and amazingly enough he was one of my healthier relationships. It was one of the many things that led me to the decision not to get married. I felt like I never got chances to just be on my own and do things that I enjoyed. T was like that also, but then when he stopped it was because he started hanging around with another girl who was "just a friend".

Yeah, Biz Markie warned me about saying people are just friends. And I was right, because T married her skanky ass within a year of us breaking up. Better her than me, but the betrayal still sticks in my guts. And so when CPB flakes on hanging out with me, I automatically assume it's because he doesn't want to be with me and I have a hard time entertaining the notion that he really does have other commitments that he forgot about. It seems like if he is really that into me, he would try harder to make more time. And my brain starts going into complete contradictions of what I think I want. Give me space, no, spend all of your time with me!

See why I feel like a psycho hose beast?

All I want is to let it all go and enjoy being with him when I am with him. Though he asked me to be his girlfriend last week, I figured he was probably drunk when he asked and decided that I wouldn't call him my boyfriend yet. I would just relax and see where it all leads. But I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to be a girl that someone just sees. And if it gets to the next level, I don't know how to be the loving supportive girlfriend who doesn't need her man around 24/7. All I really know is how to be alone. Maybe he's the guy that can make me see the error of my ways, or maybe he's the guy who finally causes me to become crazy cat lady, but it seems like a lot of pressure to put on him and me in pondering these things.

I need to shut off my brain. If anyone has suggestions, I am all for hearing them. And though I don't like to put depressing oh-woe-is-me stuff on the blog, I decided to do it today. Just in case someone else out there feels the same as I do and they stumble upon this blog, then they can know that someone else is going through the same crap.

Things I Think About

2010-01-14T12:25:00.000-07:00

Do the dudes who strip in the "Guys Gone Wild" videos realize that 90% of the sales are going to go to gay men? Because women usually only buy that stuff as gag gifts, and those gag gifts will probably also be gifted to their gay bffs. If women want to get their engines revved, they'll go home and watch Hugh Jackman in Australia instead of a mass produced home video of frat boys. Just sayin'.

And while we're on the subject of gay men, can I come back in my next life as a drag queen? They're all fabulous.

Does one always 'gotta get up to get down'? What if you are already up? Can you just go straight into getting down then or are you going to pull a muscle or something?

With all of our advancements in the science field, can one of the lab nerds figure out how to genetically alter brussel sprouts so that they taste like Doritos? I think we would see a spike in produce sales and better balanced diets if they could.

Must the dutchie always be passed 'pon de left hand side, or is it ever socially acceptable to pass it to the right?

Why is it that all of the people who look at the guns and hunting magazines at the supermarket are the ones that you never want to see with a gun or hunting?

How does the lead singer from Motion City Soundtrack make his hair look like that and why am I so fascinated by it? Seriously, I don't know if I love his songs or his hair more.

Will the country ever come together because we all really love the same thing? It seems like the country only ever comes together because when we all want to hate terrorists or Kanye West.

For those unfamiliar with passing the dutchie, here's a little music to wind up your wheels. Take a video break...

Hump Day Video Day-Bobby Bare

2010-01-13T10:00:00.002-07:00

We're gonna get country fried for today's installment of Hump Day Video Day! I love funny songs, and this song never ceases to be funny to me. Even if you don't like country, you've got to like this song. If you don't, well then, we might be able to hang out anymore (I love this song so much that, yeah, I'll ditch you! Okay, maybe I won't, but I threaten good...). Now, sit back and enjoy the musical styling of Bobby Bare and his song Numbers.

Saturday's Details...

2010-01-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

...or at least most of them. This post is long enough without all of them. Think of it as the Reader's Digest Condensed Books version of the story.

Saturday was the big night to see Cute Produce Boy perform some white boy rap. I was quite pumped to go, but nervous all at the same time. If you missed the reasons before that I was excited, here's a recap: I was A) going to hang with CPB outside of work and B) was going to hear live music that was not the usual venue of Mexican, Country or 80's hair bands trying to desperately still make a living (all pretty standard fair for where I live.). But I was nervous because A) I was going to hang with CPB outside of work and B) I was going alone.

My Dad L said that he would have gone with me if he didn't have to work. I told him that was sweet, but that I didn't think he would enjoy it since rap is not his thing. L said maybe he would like it if they rapped Frank Sinatra. I laughed and then started doing my own hardcore white girl rap of Summerwind. Though I started laughing again over it, I think we may be on to something with rapping the standards...

After much agonizing over how crappy my wardrobe is for going to the bar, I finally settled on something appropriate.

"Hey, Mom. What do you think of what I'm wearing?"

"It looks good."

"Am I showing off enough boob?"

"I can see some cleavage there."

"Okay, good. I want them to be noticed, but I don't want to look like a whore too much."

Like I said before, I didn't think I was in the running for CPB's affections, so I decided to try and use all of my womanly, um, charms to my best advantage.

I got there a little early so I wouldn't miss the beginning of the show. As it turns out, CPB told me the wrong time, so I was over half an hour early. I sat at the end of the bar and nursed a Jack and Coke and then another one while I watched the last bits of the Dallas Cowboys game on the big screen. Thank god for alcohol's ability to calm the nerves because if I hadn't had any, I probably would have gotten a panic attack and left the joint. After my nerves were mellowed, I found that the people watching was excellent. I became thoroughly entertained by a group of middle aged drunk women who had lost the volume control on their voices and by a another pair of chicks where it was so obvious that one of them wanted the bartender. She could practically refill her glasses with the drool falling from her mouth. But I don't blame her, that bartender is all kinds of hot.

I kept trying to scan the place discreetly for CPB, but didn't see him. And after two good, strong Jack and Cokes, my vision was getting a little blurry. But suddenly I noticed him standing about 3 feet from me, talking to a friend at the bar. I motioned to get his attention and as soon as he saw me, he gave me a big smile and one of those half hugs that guys will do to their friends. Again, I thought I was not in the running for his affections. Usually guys aren't so reserved in giving chicks hugs. We talked for a minute while he waited to get some water from the bartender and then he was off to do his set.

CPB is good! I'm more into old school tunes and his lyrical style is more towards the harder end (you know, bitch ho and all that.), so it's a little hard for me to relate to what he's saying. But the beats are really catchy and good for dancing. Had I been real tipsy and had a group of friends with me, we probably would have gotten up and danced. I instead watched quietly from my bar stool. I wan't completely lonely though; I ended up seeing one of my old employees from my last job (and even today I can't remember her name. It's driving me nuts!!) and talked to her for a little bit. Then, an older gentleman who was playing pool came over to talk to me.

"So do you usually come here and sit alone or did you come for the rap?"

"I came for the rap! My friend *CPB* invited me."

"The one over there in the red hat?"

"Yeah!"

"That's my boy!"

50% of awkward meeting the parents scenario complete. CPB's dad is a total trip. After his first set was over, CPB came over to the bar to find out how I liked the show so far and get a beer.

"Hey, I met your dad!"

I probably shouldn't have said that to him while he was drinking, because he almost started choking. And after talking to his dad more during the evening, I can understand where the gag reflex comes from. I found out more about CPB during that night than CPB wanted me to know in one sitting. But that's okay, because I got to find out fun and flattering things like how CPB goes home and talks about how fine the magazine lady is. It was then that I knew I was in the running after all. By the time CPB finished his second set, I was feeling much more confident.

After all of the obligatory schmoozing and gracious thanking to friends who showed up to see the show, CPB didn't leave my side. I kept leaving him though. After my two drinks and the two large waters that followed to sober up, I had to keep running to the loo like I had bladder control problems. Like I don't already feel a little old around CPB, here I am going to the bathroom every 5 minutes like some lady in a nursing home (For those not yet aware, CPB is only 22 and I'm 30. I have a niece who is 20, and at first I had a small issue with lusting after a guy who could have possibly dated her in high school. But I got over it, and quickly.)

After we left the bar, we went and hung out at two of his friends' places. His friends are blog posts in themselves, not because they are weird, scary, etc., but because I found most of them quite intriguing. All friendly and happy; so unlike my local friends. I like them.

What was also intriguing was being alone with CPB on the front porch at one apartment and hearing him tell me about how he wants to get to know me better, take me out on dates, all that good stuff. I was eating it up. Then, all of a sudden, a cop walks up with his night stick out and asks, "Is there some fighting going on here?" Way to kill a mood, Officer Bacon! As we're telling him no, a woman comes over his radio saying, "Correction, domestic dispute is in building B."

"Er, sorry about that." *scurries off with his night stick still in hand*

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is our city's finest at work...

That's okay though, because an hour later CPB was picking up where the conversation left off, and I gladly started eating it up again. Then he says, "Why don't you just be my girlfriend. Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

O.M.G. How cute was that?! I haven't had a guy ask me to be his girlfriend since I was about 19. And it is so charming and sweet, I really think all guys should start asking again, I don't care how old they are. It was then that I told him, "Well, you have to kiss me and stuff," so he did. And he did it well.

After we left all of his friends, we continued with the kissing. I was kissed until 6 o'clock the next morning. Every woman should have at least one Saturday night in her life that turns into a Sunday morning like that. I'm glad I did. And I'm hoping to have more of them with him.

Did I mention before that I was twitterpated? Magnify that by 20 now. Maybe someday he'll write a song about me! It just better not be all bitch ho and stuff...

Second Chances

2010-01-10T12:18:00.000-07:00

"Believe me, next time I will not fuck it up, Mum."

"Language, darling."

"Sorry, next time I will not fuck it up...Mother."

I went and saw CPB's show last night, and I am so glad that I didn't chicken out like I did on New Year's Eve.

All I am going to say right now is Rawr! Puuuuuurrrrrrrr...

(That's cougar talk for I made out with an adorable little cub.)

I'm a cougar now! Go me! We'll see if he's a Mark Darcy or if he turns out to be another Daniel Cleaver though...

That's all of the details I'm handing out for now. I'll be back later to tell you all the rest. But, I thought we could at least celebrate this euphoric feeling with a song that celebrates cougars and the guys who love them.

It Has Been An Exceptionally Good Week

2010-01-09T01:13:00.000-07:00

I had been looking forward to 2010 for a while, knowing that it would be far superior to 2009 and so far it has not let me down. This post though is mostly about the love and dating junk that happened this week, so I'll warn you now that you are only hearing about 50% of the awesomeness that 2010 has brought me.

You remember Van from earlier in the week? Remember how I said that I wouldn't be against hanging out with him again? He wanted to. He called me on Wednesday, not once but twice and emailed me on Thursday to see if we could go out on Saturday. The more I told my story about the date to friends and family and divulged some other gory details that I didn't add to the story on the internet, the more I decided, "Screw that, I'm kicking him to the curb." That's really a big thing for me, not giving a second chance to a guy that I know is totally wrong for me. I had another factor though that aided in that decision as well. Cute Produce Boy invited me to see him and his buddy put on a short music show on Saturday. Van or CPB? I'll take CPB please!

CPB has musical ambitions. SWOON! Someone please find me a shotgun and a minister because now I want to marry him. Turns out that CPB is a little white rapper. He's totally adorable, like B-Rad from Malibu's Most Wanted. When he told me about the show, I said how much I would love to do something like that.

"Do you sing?"

**gasp** I get a complete deer in the headlights look and mutter, "kind of."

"We're always looking for people to sing on tracks because my friend and I don't sing too good."

Maybe I'll get the guts to share songs I've done with CPB. Maybe. Though online karaoke makes my world a little bit brighter and I am currently in the final round of a karaoke Beatles contest, I still get scared to sing live in front of people. But how awesome would that be to sing on someone's original song? It would be all kinds of awesome! Repeat to self, must get over stage fright, must get over stage fright...

CPB made the comment that he was inviting as many people as he could to the show, so I don't really consider myself in the running for his affections. Bummer. I'm just stoked to have a live music venue to attend this weekend. I'm still doing that whole neurotic chick thing wondering if he's just super friendly or actually flirty. I'm usually either A) completely oblivious to when a guy likes me, or B) I over analyze every thing a guy says or does. There's never any middle ground with me. It's like I'm stuck in junior high love affair mode in my head and it sucks. And since I'm over analyzing him, I'm thinking that I'm reading too much into stuff usually.

But it's okay. If CPB won't love me, apparently half of the employees at another market in town will. When I was out working today I discovered that some of the guys at this other market were all sitting around talking about what a hot piece of ass I am and made a friendly little competition of asking me out. Winner gets me to say yes. One fellow took the time to learn my name (most everyone at each of the stores I work know me as Magazine Lady.), grabbed his heuvos and asked me. The catch? He's the developmentally handicapped box boy. No matter, I am still flattered! I couldn't say yes, but didn't have the heart to say no, so I just smiled at him. He didn't seem to notice; I think he was just proud that he asked me out on a date. Or was super nervous because he talked himself silly and never gave me a chance to answer, which was fine with me. But you know when I think about it, most of my previous boyfriends have been developmentally handicapped. They just didn't take the short bus or special ed classes in school, so box boy may be an improvement in comparison to the rest of them. Which leads me to the other fabulous thing that happened today...

I saw my ex fiance in another store I worked. How is that fabulous, you ask? Because I looked fabulous, that's why! I was in such a happy mood, I've lost weight and I have achieved a very Terri from Glee hairstyle that I am rawk-king to the fullest. He walked in with a gal that was all frumpy and so unattractive that I will dare say that she was fugly. Plus, he was growing this beard that looked like baby birds could be nesting in it. I looked pretty and happy, he looked scared shitless to see me. Look at what you lost buddy! Soak it in, soak.it.in.

Being and looking fabulous and happy is the best revenge ever on any ex. I learned that long ago in high school. No need to come up with diabolical plans of sabotage or voodoo curses. Just be a better you than you were with them and it will rip them to shreds the next time you cross paths.

The best part for me is that the week isn't even over yet. Here's hoping I have another good story to share after tomorrow night when I see CPB perform. It'll be weird seeing him outside of work. I keep imagining him up on stage in his grocery uniform...

Hump Day Video Day-Heather Nova

2010-01-06T11:00:00.005-07:00

It's Wednesday again and you know what that means! Hump Day Video Day! I'm wondering how long it will take before I get lazy and abreviate it to HDVD. Probably by next week... or maybe not. I look at that and think high definition venereal disease, and really, nobody wants that.

Here's another great song that I just discovered but has apparently been around for a few years. And after hearing more of her songs, I've come to the conclusion that there isn't any that I don't like. But this one is my favorite, fo' sho'.

I love watching the bass player swaying around like he just smoked something really good and then watching him get all still when it's time to sing. I'm easily entertained that way.

Heather, please please please schedule a tour date in Arizona so that I may attend a concert and not only listen to your amazing music, but also watch those killer, fluid dance moves of your bass player. There is no need to spend all of your time touring Europe when we can show you some love stateside!

OK, Whatever Cupid

2010-01-05T21:59:00.000-07:00

So, I had mentioned before that I got asked out by a gentleman on OKCupid and that today was the day for the big date.I also promised a blog entry for those inquiring minds who want to know. Names are changed here to protect the innocent, so let's call him Van for a city he use to live in.

Let me start off by saying that it was a very nice date. I had a good time and I wouldn't be opposed to hanging out with him again. In fact, at the end of the date I did give him my phone number so that we could set up plans for another day to hang out together. But his chances of getting his penis inside me is slim to none.

Did I just say his chances of getting his penis inside me was slim to none? Yes, yes I did.

Maybe I'm a little snotty saying it that way, but the dude just isn't my type. On a physical level, he just doesn't do anything for me. I could complain about how he looked nothing like his profile picture, but according to him I look different from mine as well. Plus, there were just too many red flags that popped up that tell me that even though we seem to mesh personality wise, dating is just not an area in which we should venture.

Okay, here's the play by play...

One red flag popped up a few weeks ago when he first asked me out to lunch. On my profile, I mention how much I love the paranormal. When he got the courage to ask me out, he suggested two different restaurants known for paranormal activity. He paid attention and actually read my profile. Sweet, right? But when I accepted his invitation and noted that we needed to pick a joint to meet at, he replied that we should go somewhere else because both places were expensive and he was low on money from holidays and lack of hours at work.

Ruh-roh Raggy. I'm not a dating expert, but in my opinion, when you ask a chick out, have a plan and stick to it. That's my public service announcement for the blog. The more you know, and all that stuff.

I'm a pretty mellow chick though and decided to let it go. It was then mutually decided that we would go have Thai because I love it and he was open to trying it. I picked the restaurant, so I was at least confident that even if the date sucked, my belly would at least be happy. We coordinated our schedules and we were set to meet after the holidays passed.

I made a fatal mistake with my schedule today though. My dentist's office called yesterday and said that they had an opening if I wanted to get my teeth cleaned (my original appointment was for next week.). I took it, but I should have skipped it. They numbed half of my mouth for the cleaning. I've never had a cleaning where they numbed you like that, and even though the dentist appointment was for 11 in the morning and the I wasn't meeting him until 3:15, I still couldn't feel my lip on the date. But I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. Let's get back to the actual date.

Like I said, he didn't look like the profile picture in my opinion. His pic showed a clean shaven guy not to mention a big hat and sunglasses, so it skews what I had thought he would look like. He showed up with a goatee and a totally different style of hat, so I didn't recognize him when I saw him. I got there first, and when he got there we ended up sitting at different tables for a few minutes. He said he wasn't sure if it was me because my hair was lighter and my glasses were different in my picture, so like I said, I won't complain about misrepresentation. I still find it comical though. It's a small restaurant and we were at tables next to each other. When I heard him say to the waitress that he was waiting for someone, I finally spoke up and asked if he was Van.

Once we were seated at the same table, conversation flowed easily and never lagged. He's a talker, which is good because I'm not always the best at keeping conversation up. There were times I wished he could talk without breathing though because I would get a whiff of something rank. I hope it was just the curry he was eating and it's not always like that. But like I said, I had gone to the dentist earlier in the day and still had a numb lip, so it's not like I had anything orally pleasing going on at the table. The poor guy had to tell me twice during dinner that I had food stuck to my face that I couldn't feel. We were at an even score at this point in the date.

Little red flags came up in conversation, like him talking about his ex wife and a disagreement in opinion on the effects of marijuana on the body. Mentally noted by me, but not ruining the date. But then the conversation got turned to conspiracy theories. For the record, I hate conspiracy theories. He apparently loves them enough to watch tv programs on them and talked for the longest time about 9-11 and the Bush administration. That's when I started looking around the room thinking things like, 'What did that couple order? It looks goooood', 'My jaw is starting to hurt finally. Too bad I still can't feel my lip' and 'I wish I was on a date with CPB.' Yep, I had CPB on my brain while I was on a date with another guy. I guess I'm just a little infatuated with CPB.

Two and a half hours later, and I notice it's getting dark out and mention that I should be getting home. I needed some Advil like it was no one's business. Van paid for dinner which was a bonus. I never even got the chance to offer going dutch. Score one for him. But then a new red flag erected itself when he asked for a ride to his friend's house. I was confused; how did he make it from the town he lives in 18 miles away if he didn't drive? He had mentioned before about how he rides his bike to work, but I thought that was to sneak in exercise or because he was going green for his new years resolution or something. I decided not to pry (at least for now), told him I'd give him that ride. Inside my head though I was glad that I knew the restaurant owner and that she had stopped by our table during dinner and if I never got home tonight that she would be able to give police a description of who I was with and the time of when we were last seen together (It's internet dating, and I'm paranoid, okay?! Sue me.).

While on the drive to his friend's house, he then asked if I could stop at a gas station on the way so he could buy a 6 pack of beer. He proclaimed that our earlier talk on alcohol had made him thirsty. I hate when people take advantage of a free ride and ask for pit stops along the way. It's just a pet peeve. But the fact that he doesn't drive but knows all of the bars in the area and read up on Arizona's laws regarding drug and alcohol is a red flag to me as well.

But when I dropped him off he proclaimed that I was a cool person and I gave him my phone number so we could hang out again. Unless a date is just completely from hell I don't usually write guys off on the first date. I had a good time and though I have no physical attraction for him, he's not a person I would hate to spend time with. He just better not try to feel me up.

And as I drove away, I realized that that song from Dirty Dancing called "I Had The Time Of My Life" was playing on the radio while he was still in the car with me. This made me bust out in the biggest laugh of the evening. It couldn't have been a break up song or something on the radio at the end of the date, noooooo. I'm hoping he wasn't paying attention to the music and getting any ideas.

I Seem To Be Making My Love Life Into A Really Bad Romantic Comedy...

2010-01-02T21:16:00.000-07:00

...so if it goes to film, can Katherine Heigl play me? My friend Lisa says she looks like me plus she's already adept at playing characters in good and bad romantic comedies, so it seems like perfect casting to me.

I could have gone out for New Years Eve. Could have, but completely chickened out. Here's the story. Beware, it's a bit on the long side, so if you get bored easily, feel free to skee-dattle now.

I started working as a magazine merchandiser a few months ago. One thing I like about the job is meeting and working alongside the employees at each of the stores I service. And I'll admit that I have become a little twitterpated with one of them. We'll call him Cute Produce Boy. I find CPB quite adorable; he's funny, easy to talk to, has a warm smile and eyes that sparkle. Seriously, his eyes always seem like they are sparkling. It's like someone took Edward Cullen's skin and grafted it to CPB's eyeballs. I can't even tell you for sure what color they are because I am always distracted by the refracting light.

Whenever I see him, we always talk for at least a few minutes. Last Wednesday we got to talking a little longer than usual, which was quite nice. It all seemed a little flirty, but I usually have a hard time telling when a guy is interested in me or just friendly. After a little bit, he asked the typical question of the day:

"So what are you doing for New Years?"

When I told him I was planning on just staying in, he proclaimed that that was just sad and that if I wanted to I could hang out with him. "You can be my charity case (flashes adorable smile)." I laugh out and say, "Oh yeah, now I really want to hang out with you!"

"No,seriously, I'm working tomorrow until 10. If you want to party, just come by here and I'll give you my phone number and then you call me when I get off of work."

I instantly start asking questions in my head, like 'why didn't he just ask for my number now?', 'Was he serious about the charity case comment?', 'Is he wanting to hang out on a platonic level or date level? Please don't let it be on a platonic level!'

Why yes, I am a typical neurotic girl like they portrayed in He's Just Not That Into You. Why do you ask?

In my opinion, calling me socially awkward is the understatement of the century. I usually feel like a big dork when I talk to people, which is why I am quite shy and introverted. And when it comes to the members of the opposite sex that I am attracted to, magnify it by, like, a hundred. I have a hunch that most people probably feel the same way, but I think I deal with it worse than they do. I needed a big boost of confidence, so I promptly went on facebook and left a status update that I got a social invitation and that I needed to be told not to chicken out. Because my friends rock, a dozen of them replied with a resounding "GO!". Confidence boost achieved, I went to bed all ready to go get 'em tiger the next day. Unfortunately, the confidence didn't last.

24 hours was too much time to contemplate hanging out with CPB. I had started to waver in my newly acquired confidence almost as soon as I got out of bed the next morning.

I had to work for part of the day on New Years Eve. While I was working at another store, I ran into a gal I know. I talked to her a few minutes which was just enough time to get that socially awkward feeling again. And with CPB on my mind, this was enough to make me decide to stay home. But then I saw an overweight woman with a face like a cat's ass in one of those motorized carts, sniffing at cocktail shrimp through a plastic container. The sight of her was so sad. I said to myself, "Good God, I don't want to be her in thirty years. I'm going to go out with CPB tonight, dammit."

Fast forward about an hour and I am on my way to the store where CPB works. I grab a shopping basket and head to the produce area. I try to do a discrete visual scan of the joint but I don't see him anywhere. I had no interest in roaming the store searching for him since I already felt a little like a desperate stalker. I was already in jeopardy of a panic attack before I went in there; to go looking for him might have sent me over the edge and right into one, making me look as crazy as I already felt. So, I buy some apples in an attempt to buy some time in case he appears, and to also help give me purpose for being there. But he never appears.

I go home, feeling a bit sad that plans to hang with CPB fell through. Ana called and got after me for being a chicken and told me to go back to the store and look for him. "He's probably sad because he thinks you don't want to hang out!" My pessimistic side doubted that, and I was a bit relieved when we got into a conversation reminiscing about GLOW wrestling from the 80's. Seriously, that show was just all kinds of awesome back in the day. Cheesy wrestling goodness at it's finest. But unfortunately Ana brought the conversation back to CPB. "You're not going back there, are you?" Grrrrr.

I checked my email and found another note of encouragement from a friend. I decided to go back to the store and hoped I wasn't making a fool of myself. I walk in, and again I don't see him. I bought a bottle of champagne that I didn't need because again, I needed to look like I had a purpose for being there. Insecurity is hell on your mind and your wallet. But as I'm making my purchase, I look at the back of the line and there he is, looking at me. He gives a grin and a head nod. I give a smile and then I grab my booze and I walk out of the store.

Seriously, WTF?!?! Why did I do that?!

Everything inside me screamed to go back inside the store. My feet stopped briefly in the parking lot but then continued towards the car. I got in, drove home, and decided it was worse to go the second time and chicken out than it would have been to not have not gone back at all.That was not the way I envisioned my New Years turning out, but that's how I allowed it to go down.

I think I know all of the reasons that I am such a chicken shit when it comes to boys like CPB, but that's a blog post for another day. I'm just hoping that if I did have a snowball's chance in hell with CPB that I didn't ruin it with my idiotic behavior.

And this post is for my homeslice Nancy, who was sure that the outcome would make a good blog entry. Hopefully she is right, and hopefully I'll have happier posts to follow up with. I do have a date next Tuesday with a guy from OKCupid who amazingly doesn't seem like a complete douche. We'll see when I meet him in person though. I'll let you all know.

Hump Day Video Day-Lucinda Williams

2009-12-30T11:00:00.003-07:00

It's Wednesday! YAAAAAAAAY!!

That means it's time for the next installment of Hump Day Video Day, and this week we are gonna shine the spotlight on Lucinda Williams and her rockin' little ditty called Honey Bee.

I was never a huge Lucinda Williams fan in the past, but this song kicked me in the ass and demanded I change my mind about how much I like her music.

Sure, it may not be the best YouTube video ever made considering that it's just a picture of the album cover the whole freakin' time, but this song is not a song that one should sit still and listen to intently. Oh no, it is a song that one should get up and shake their money maker to. So screw staring at the computer screen, go ahead and press play and dance till you are out of breath....

For The Love Of All Things Holy, Can 2009 Just End Already Please?!

2009-12-29T21:49:00.000-07:00

This is another one of those online diary entries...

I woke up today in a very bad mood. It was a bad mood that had carried over from yesterday, which was a day of putting up with a completely insufferable woman. You know the type; she's a woman who seems to have made it her life's work trying to make everyone around her miserable and she is either A) your mother-in-law, or B) your boss. Unfortunately, I allowed her evil plan to be a success. I went to bed angry and instead of being able to "sleep on it" and awake bright eyed and bushy tailed, I woke up acting like Red Foreman with raging PMDD. It was not pretty.

My day improved, thanks to a few hours of laughter with positive people and lots and lots of chai tea, but I kept finding myself being pulled back to my bad mood by my own recycled thoughts and even more so when I rehashed all of the details of yesterdays crumbiness to my friend K on the phone. And when I hung up the phone with her, I realized that this is how 2009 has been all year long. Bad things happen, I rehash them in my head or in conversation and nothing really changes. So the thing that needs to change is me.

I'm not a resolutions kind of girl. But I think as a new year approaches, it's natural to get all introspective on the previous year. And I won't lie, I think it sucked. Not just for me, but for everyone. I know of no one this past year that 2009 didn't metaphorically kick in the nuts multiple times. But when I look back on my year alone, I can see where I derailed in how I deal with negative things and negative people. I only let it all drag me down, and it really doesn't serve me. I have the ability to be a good cheerleader for my family and friends, but I have never known how to be a good cheerleader for myself.

So, I think I'm going to put on the short skirt, grab the pom-poms and give it a go...

This Was Suppose To Be Posted Before Christmas...

2009-12-26T16:20:00.000-07:00

...but I am nothing if not one fantastic procrastinator.

I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas, Hanukkah or Holiday Season!

This year I decided to bake my Christmas presents (And after seeing the Christmas presents that friends and family sent from all over the country, I have decided that Bad Economy+Holiday Gifts=Excessive Amounts Of Chocolate. But, that's not necessarily a bad thing in my opinion.)

The big hit of the cookie platter was the Chocolate Mice. Not only are they adorable, but they are delicious! My hairdresser doesn't know how tasty they are though; I made her a tin of treats and it turns out she loves mice. She thought that these cookies were so cute that she was threatening bodily harm to anyone who dared eat them.

So let's get ready to bake Dru and Ana style! Here is what you need:

Chocolate

Maraschino Cherries with the stems

Almond slices

Hershey's Kisses

Oreo cookies

Red gel used for decorating cakes

Once you've acquired all of the necessary components, it is time to start the assembly. First, we start by wasting half of the Oreo. A travesty, I know, but you only need the half of the cookie with the cream center stuck to it. Had I been more of a glutton, I would have had big glass of milk to dunk the discarded cookies and devoured them, but I decided to have some self control for once in my life.

I don't know much about chocolate beyond the fact that when it is in front of me that it will inevitably make it's way to my tummy. I melted chocolate morsels in a double boiler for dipping the cherries in. This was probably the hardest part only because the chocolate would start hardening up. I was able to fix this by adding and melting more morsels. I've heard these rumors about tempering your chocolate, but I was to lazy to google that and figure it all out. Maybe if I had, some of the mice wouldn't have turned out lumpy like they had cellulite...

but anyway, after you do it the right way or my lazy way, take your chocolate cherry and place it so that it takes up about half of the cookie.

While I was in the kitchen, I felt the need to bust out some poetic verses...

"Twas the night before Christmas

and I was big as a house

because I ate all of the cookies

that looked like a mouse..."

Ah yes, I can make a mildly stupid parody out of any song or poem. It's a gift that I exploit for cheap laughs whenever possible. And my Mom graciously gave me the chuckles I was looking for. She's good to me like that.

Next, if you haven't already diligently unwrapped your Hershey's Kisses, do it now. Then, dip the bottom of the Kiss into the melted chocolate and attach it to the cherry, pointy part sticking out to the side. Your mouse now has a butt and a head!

While the chocolate is still warm, take two almond slices and press them into the melted chocolate on the back of the Kiss and voila, you have mouse ears.

Once the bodies are assembled, take the red gel and place 2 dots close to the center of the Kiss for the eyes and one dot on the tip for the nose. You could even use white chocolate instead of milk chocolate for these, and then your mice could rock an albino look (Yes, these ARE the kinds of things I think of...).

When I was done, I noticed this little mouse had butt cheeks...

BIG butt cheeks!

I named it Kim Kardashian.

And that's how you do it. Make these and you are sure to be the hit of the holiday cookie circuits or mouse themed parties. Happy baking!

Hump Day Video Day

2009-12-23T15:00:00.002-07:00

I like this blogging thing. I decided it was high time to find something that I actually wanted to write about/share with the masses on a regular basis. The major task was figuring out what I wanted it to be. All thoughts constantly went back to music, so, I decided to roll with it. So, with great pleasure, I would like to introduce...

HUMP DAY VIDEO DAY

My taste in tunes is varied enough that every week could bring a new and wonderful song to someone's world. I love to find new songs and then share them with the masses. Hell, it might not even be new songs that I post. There are so many great songs from before my time that people have forgotten about, and I like to remind people of their awesomeness.

The first song in our new weekly installment comes from The New Amsterdams. I just recently discovered them and I am completely twitterpatted by each song I hear. "Hughes" is one that especially captured me and makes me feel all jello-ey every time I listen to it. And Lord knows I love songs that make me feel jello-ey! This was the best video I could find; it takes a minute for the music to start, but once it does then you find it was worth the wait. Alright, enough of my rambling. Just click play and enjoy.

The New Amsterdams "Hughes"
Uploaded by watch-er. - Explore more music videos.

My Mind Is Dark And Scary, But Hers Is Hilarious

2009-12-17T15:21:00.000-07:00

Ana: "I want to live in Denmark. They did a study and it turns out they are the happiest people. Do you know why they are happy?"

Dru: "Close proximity to Amsterdam so they can go smoke a lot of weed?"

Ana: "No, they're named after pastries! How could they NOT be happy?!"

Since my sis hasn't posted any of her own musings in awhile, I thought I would add some of her flava to the blog by sharing a piece of our last phone conversation. We almost had to buy a new couch because I laughed so hard I damn near peed myself when she said this. And it's because of conversations like this that I always love talking to my sister.

Rainy Days And Mondays Don't Just Get Me Down, Karen, They Suck Ass...

2009-12-07T17:13:00.000-07:00

It's one of those days. I got bad news, but I was expecting it. Even though I expected bad, it still hit me like it does every time and wrecked my day (this bad news is a recurring event. Yipee.). And the last few weeks have been a roller coaster for everyone around me, where different days yield different minor disasters. I'm the empathetic type who feels all of the crappy feelings of my loved ones during their hard times, too, so the last few weeks have been like a toilet of emotion that just won't flush.

Eloquently written, yes? I thought so...

But, it is during times like these when I become reaffirmed that nothing can make me feel bad when I bust out the old school jams. And since my 14 going on 15 year old nephew informed me last week that I am oooooooooooold, old school jams include anything prior to the turn of the century. So, since I want to focus on and spread the positive, I thought I would share some of the best of the old school with you. Plus, 80's and early 90's fashion is just fun to laugh over. What were we all thinking when we dressed ourselves back then?

Like musical Prozac for your brain, ladies and gentlemen, it's DJ Kool!

Are you happy yet? No? Okay, here's more. I first time I heard this song, my then boyfriend played it over the phone for me. Get on the bus people.

Are you as happy as I am? If you want to get really euphoric, you'll have to follow this link to Positive K's "I Got A Man". I would have put the video here, but some people just get so up in arms over videos being embedded. That's fine. The trip over to youtube just to hear the line "boom batter, my pockets are getting fatter" and see the shorts that people would wear in public is still worth it.

I don't know about you, but I sure feel a lot happier now...

What Did I Sign Myself Up For?

2009-11-23T20:26:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was talking to my friend and mentor. She told me that I need to get myself out there in the dating scene again and suggested I try a dating website to do it.

I groaned.

Let's be clear before I get into the story, I have nothing against dating websites. It's just that I have tried them before and have always ended up with mediocre results. But, I decided to go with it. She's never steered me wrong before, and I figured what's the worst that could happen? I meet some new people? There ain't nothing wrong with that.

I decided to try out the site OKCupid. I had heard good things about it from another blog that I love, Sex, Lies and Dating In The City (if you like dating blogs, run there after you've finished here. Excellent stuff.). I've been on Match.com and eharmony before and I wasn't that impressed with either. Don't get me wrong, there's lots of people on match, just no one I ever wanted to date seriously. And eharmony works great if you live in a metropolitan area, but I live in po'dunk. Plus OKCupid is free and that's a BIG PLUS when you are SUPER BROKE.

I hate writing profiles. But it didn't seem to matter that I didn't have one completed yet. As I was writing, I got my first email message! A cute little 19 year old sent me a message saying, "Hey, you want to get down sometime?" WHAT?! Oh, he BETTER be talking about dancing to old motown records! I ignored him.

I guess I should be flattered. I have a 19 year old nephew, so it's kind of like having one of my nephew's buddies hitting on me. And here's to me, Mrs. Robinson...

I finished up my profile and started checking out profiles of all the eligible young men who live within a 25 mile radius of me. There was a whole 19 of them. And as I went through them, I realized something very important: I have adult onset ADD. That, or only boring people live around me. I would get about two sentences in and my eyes would start to cross. I didn't spend a huge amount of time on my profile, but hopefully it's not sleep inducing like these ones I got to read.

I logged off and decided to leave it alone. What a pleasant surprise for me when two days later I got another message! This one seemed really nice; the second message was from a late thirty-something just outside of the 25 mile radius that I was looking at before. Just a little note saying hi. I was intrigued, and went to look at his profile. My eyes didn't cross after the first two sentences, but I was thinking "WHAT?!" again as I read about how he was married and he and his wife were looking into poly-amorous relationships so he just wanted someone for sex. Now, to each his own, but I am not trusting enough nor am I secure enough to deal with open relationships. Call me selfish, but I want someone all to myself and to have him think the same of me when it comes to love relationships.

What's with all of the horniness? What is it in my profile that says I'm easy? Is it because I said I love listening to The Smiths? Is it because I listed my body type as "a few extra pounds" that these guys figured I'd be grateful to get laid? Do my eye glasses give me a naughty school girl look that men go gaga over? I mean really, what the hell?!

I revamped my profile after that. I added a line in the "You should message me" column saying they should if they dig a chick who can kill her own spiders and likes watching the History Channel. Brains and independence will scare an immature guy away every time. Which seems to have worked because I haven't gotten a message since from any guy this past week. But I'm okay with that, because I know that somewhere in the world there is a guy looking for a woman just like that, but he just may not be on a dating website.

Funny Because It's True

2009-11-09T16:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my grandmother's 91st birthday. In celebration, a few of the members from her church had a pot luck lunch. There were 8 of us at the party, and my mom and I were the young whippersnappers since neither one of us can draw on our Social Security benefits yet. We also had the best hearing of all the party people. Here is an actual conversation I had the pleasure of listening to at the table:

Priest: "We had trouble with our computer, so I called to get some help with it. I asked the man where their office is and he told me it was in New Delhi!"
Grandma: "I hate when you call those help lines and you can't understand a word they say."
Mr. W: "What?!"
Grandma: "I said, I hate when you call those help lines and you can't understand a word they say!"
Mr. W: "Oh."
Priest's wife: "You know, I hate when you call those help lines and they're in other countries, like New Delhi!"
Grandma: "That's what we were just saying."
Priest's wife: "Oh."

Old people, you have GOT to love them!

Cookin' Time!

2009-11-03T18:54:00.000-07:00

Alright, Lisa, you asked for it. Here's the story...

There are 3 things 9 out of 10 girls want: Mark Darcy, Edward Cullen and chocolate. After that, their lists vary. My number 4 is recipes for fabulous and yummy soups. I found this recipe for Pumpkin-Acor n Squash Soup in the newest Southern Living Magazine. Doesn't it look scrumptious? Armed with a love of anything pumpkin flavored and memories of eating an amazing pumpkin soup at a local restaurant, I decided to take on the challenge of preparing a new recipe. I even took pictures of the process so that I could share the fun of making something different and delicious. Well, it was different alright...

It started off easy enough. I cut up the pumpkin and acorn squash for roasting. They looked and smelled yummy. I hit some hiccups when I realized that I didn't have enough chicken broth and didn't have any half-and-half. No biggie, I just found myself some chicken bouillon so I could make up enough broth and googled a method for making a suitable substitution for half-and-half.

I love onions, but sweet onions are the best. Not just because they make the best onion rings, but because you can chop them up without crying your eyes out. I like being able to cook a meal and not appear to be an emotional wreck while doing it.

At one point in the recipe, you have to take the soup and puree it in a food processor. Apparently, you cannot fill a food processor more than a 1/3 of the way with food. If you do, it will leak all over your counter. I learned this the hard way. I suddenly had orange liquid oozing from the Cuisinart, prompting me into a panic and yelling, "Help me! Help meeee!!" as I tried to get the soup back in the pot and stop overtaking the entire counter and floor. Not only did my dad L rush to help, but so did one of the family dogs, Mia. He wiped the counter, she licked the floor. Ah, teamwork at it's finest.

It came time to add in the final spices. Easy enough, right? Just measure and pour. No. The nutmeg decided to try and make a break for it and went flying out of my hands and covered the whole kitchen floor. Mia thought this was her cue to help with clean up again and started licking up the nutmeg. "OH MY GOD, STOP! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT'S POISONOUS IN HIGH DOSES?!" Apparently, she did not, and gave me a very sad look as she walked away. But she knows now, because the dog totally knows English.

And finally, it was complete. It looked like baby food. Seriously, I think my Mom fed me similar stuff when I was in diapers. No worries, just as long as it tasted wonderful. I ate a spoonful and let the disappointment set in. It tasted like mushy chicken soup. No pumpkin flavor at all. Sigh. I couldn't even finish it.

But all was not lost. I had others around me that thought it was amazing. My mom's kitten turned out to be a huge fan...

The dogs also loved it as well...

I think the next time I get a hankering for a bowl of pumpkin soup, I'll just make the trip to the local restaurant and buy a bowl to go.

I Am On A Mission...

2009-10-27T16:11:00.000-06:00

Or at least I'm trying to be on one. I am the queen of procrastination, so I am always full of intentions, but not always successful on following through. But now it's time to become a better Me. For those who can't stand blogs that are online diaries, skip this post and go read one of my funny ones, like from last Christmas.

I feel like I've gone very backwards this last year. I hadn't even realized how far backwards I went until the last few months. I had gotten myself surrounded by negative people and negative situations and it was doing nothing but bringing me down. I'm letting it all go. Now it's time to make some changes.

First thing I am starting with is trying to do away with my propensity to be an ostrich. I hate when people don't follow through and call you back, get things done that they promised, etc etc. Then the other day, I realized that I AM one of those people. A guy I had talked to around a month ago about doing some work for him was calling me over the weekend to see if I would still do it. I ignored a few of the messages, feeling irate that he was calling at the last minute to try and confirm something that should have been confirmed weeks ago, plus I had been sick and had no interest in working. After the 4th message and me feeling more irked, I realized how unfair I was being with ignoring him, and if it was me on the other line, I would want to be called back. So I sucked it up and did it. Was it uncomfortable telling him no? You bet, especially since I hate saying no to people. But it wasn't half as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. And I don't want to be one of those people that I complain about. It's like being one of those people that bitch about the government, but didn't vote in the last election.

It is time to lose weight. I watch The Biggest Loser, and half the time I'm eating McDonald's as I do it. That's just so wrong. It's time to limit the Dr. Pepper and booze consumption and make some changes (But man do I love Dr Pepper!). I'm starting by cooking. Since moving back home and having people to cook for, I'm enjoying cooking again. Cooking for one sucks, and that's why I always ran to the fast food places to eat instead of going home and making something unfried. And it's time for a make over as well. When people say you haven't changed, it is SO time to change. And I've been hearing it a lot lately when I see people that I haven't seen in years (The only one that didn't bother me was from a school friend that I haven't seen in 12 plus years. She said it was good because it meant that I haven't aged. That one made me happy.). My goal for my 30s is to look and especially feel better than I did in my 20s, so I need to get crackin' on this.

The next part of my mission is to get involved doing the things that interest me. I love to sing and I know that there are singing groups and choirs in the area, so why not try out? I want to take art classes at the college, and go on more paranormal investigations and seminars. Not only will I get to do things I enjoy, but I'll get to meet people who enjoy those same things and maybe even make some friends who are on a more positive level than the ones I've had lately. I have this amazing group of friends that I've met online, and I met them by way of common interests. I realized that the people I hang out with lately have nothing in common except liking to bitch about things and people, and then it was clear to me why I like sitting on the computer more than I like going out lately.

Why am I doing the online diary thing today? I guess it's because I figure it will give me more incentive to stick with my mission and follow it through. I've put it out there for people to see and now I can't be a chump and keep going backwards like I have for way too long now. But, I will at least try to leave on a funny note with a picture that has nothing to do with anything I just said...

Real Life Funnies

2009-09-09T15:14:00.000-06:00

It's been forever since I've posted anything. Half of that is because I'm never sure what exactly to write about, the other half because I've been in a funk the last few months. I'm sure as a chick I could find LOTS to write about when I get pissy, but who wants to read the rantings of a bitchy and angry woman? You? Yeah, didn't think you would. So I decided not to subject people to that crap. But my life has laughs on a daily basis, and I thought I would share those in the hope that they read as funny as they were when spoken aloud in the moment. And some may be bitchy still, but hey, that's just how I roll.

Dru: "I think I borrowed that purse from Mom when I went to a
high school formal."
Mom: "Yeah, I opened it and found a bunch of bobby pins and
band aids."
Mom's friend J: "Well, it's better than finding rubbers!"

K: "Did you see that old blue van that
the new guys are driving? Ugh, it's
like a kidnapper's van!"
Dru: "Truly! When I saw it, I thought
to myself, 'wow, now that's a van
to get raped in!'"

"What is with this cat? There's a Walmart bag
on the floor and she's eating it. It's like she's
saying, 'gee, this is so much better than that
Meow Mix crap you're always buying!'

Random guy on an interactive Facebook game:
"What does pls mean? Does it stand for pisses like
squirrel? Looking for work pisses like squirrel! Hire
me pisses like squirrel!"

"I was pretty amazed when I got an
email from him. I haven't talked to him
in years. He's a car salesman and he
found me again recently on myspace. I
thought to myself that he looked me up
to either sell me a car or get laid, so
either way he's looking to screw me."

When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be...

2009-05-14T00:16:00.000-06:00

I've been fantasizing lately what jobs I would have if I was uber talented, had unlimited resources and professional contacts, and our country was not in a recession that keeps eating jobs like a huge economic black hole. Here's my list so far:

1. Singer/songwriter. But someone cool and a little bit underground like my heroines Tori Amos and Ani DiFranco. Just shoot me if I turned out like Britney Spears, yuck. Or even a parody singer/songwriter would be cool. I could be like Weird Al, but with breasts.

2. Radio DJ. I think that would be one of the most fun jobs out there, and if they ever put a rock station back on the air in Northern Arizona, I will be hoofing it over to the studio to fill out an application. I don't know if this is happening anywhere else, but good radio djs are a dying breed out here in Arizona. But they do have Ryan Seacrest syndicated on at least 3 stations here. WHY??? I didn't like listening to him when he was just a dj in Orange County, way before his overly manscaped ass started showing on tv. More than one station with his prerecorded broadcast is PLENTY, thank you very much.

3. Writer. This could actually happen if I get off my butt and get it going, but I'm wondering if I suffer from writers block too much to ever be successful at it. I would love to be the next Diablo Cody. We will see I guess...

4. CSI. Those tv shows have always made it look so damn spiffy and interesting. I bet it's still interesting in real life, just maybe not so spiffy considering all of the body fluids they have to deal with. And I would want a boss just like Gil Grissom; I don't think that's too much to ask for, do you?

5. Rhythmic Gymanist. I was in Tall Flags and Colorguard in high school, so this totally appeals to me. Dance+Throwing Stuff=Happiness.

6. Paid Paranormal Investigator. Hunting ghosts is usually done pro bono, but if I could do that full time AND get paid for it? Bliss!

7. Stand up comedian. I have thought about this one for years. But my cats would have to learn to love traveling, or be high on catnip all of the time so that they don't care that they are in a moving vehicle half of the year while I am on tour.

8. Host a travel show. Samantha Brown, you know you need a sidekick! We could be like the traveling Batman and Robin, what do you say?!

9. Trophy wife. Those who know me have heard this many times before. Being a wife is a job, and being a trophy wife is an even harder job because there is all this primping and preening and spa days and ladies luncheons. Back breaking stuff, but I am up for the challenge. Just have to find a rich husband.

I'm sure I will come up with more later. Just give me time and more loathing for my current work setting and watch the creativity in my day dreams unfold. Maybe I'll get lucky and it will even lead to something that could make money! I can only hope.

Something Better...

2009-05-01T00:26:00.000-06:00

I wrote a new entry earlier today, but I deleted it because frankly, it sucked. I spent time complaining about something stupid, and after unleashing it to the public I realized that it was not the real thing that was bothering me. It was the scapegoat for the elephant in the room that moved in yesterday morning on me. I have a neurotic and dysfunctional farmhouse in my life, but I'm going to deal with it and not bore people with it. So, crappy entry is no more, and here is a new one that should hopefully suck less. And that's because it involves music!

Do you know Leona Naess? I did back in the late 1990's when she came out with the fabulous song Charm Attack, which prompted me to run to the store and buy her cd, a decision that was never regretted. But since moving to Arizona where the radio stations BLOW, I lost track of her and her wonderful music. But, luckily I have become reacquainted with her, and here is one of my new favorites that I missed when it first came out. Enjoy!

Work Day Fun

2009-04-22T21:40:00.000-06:00

Like most Americans, I dislike and border on loathing my job. A good portion of my coworkers drive me up a wall because they are such jerks, I haven't been trained properly so half the time I either don't know what I am doing or I am doing something wrong, and the massive amount of hours worked plus the long ass commute has been seriously cutting into my sitting around time that I cherish so. But I find joy & hilarity in the little moments and it keeps me going. For example, I went to a client's home today and when the subject of how hard a fall would be for her because of her knee problems, she was able to say, "Nah, my knees will be just fine," and produced a specimen jar from the basket on her walker that contained one of her knees. I was fascinated and I gave that knee cap a good looking over before she put it back safely in the basket from whence it came. Seriously.

The fact that someone carries their knee caps around in baskets just cracks me up. Though I doubt that I will miss this job when I leave it someday, I really do love the fact that I currently am in an occupation where people can produce body parts from baskets, purses and pouches and show them off to me. It makes the work day a little less mundane.

Watch Your Back and Don't Drink the Water

2009-04-07T19:13:00.000-06:00

So I've been at my job a month, it's horrible but a paycheck so I try to do the whole "glass half full" thing. But it's kind of hard, because after only being there a month, 2 people there have died! I know it's a terrible place and I already can't wait to find something else, but this? Is it a curse? Too much stress? Something odorless floating through the air vents? I don't know, but I'm looking for another job and trying to form a Zen aura around me. It's like one of those movies, oh, they're called Horror Flicks! No job is worth that!

5 Minutes of Fame for a Small Town

2009-04-04T09:23:00.000-06:00

I don't know which is more scary where I live, the people or the rabid wildlife. I don't usually watch the news because 90% of the time it either depresses or bores me, but I heard about this through the grapevine the other day (it's big news in our little valley), and it cracked me up. "Hey, look! A rabid bobcat! Dude, where's my camera?!" I already avoid this bar, now I realize why...

Sarcasm and the Single Girl

2009-03-24T21:31:00.000-06:00

When I came home tonight, I ran into one of my next door neighbors outside. He asked me how work was to which I replied that it sucked as usual. But as I started to say how it would hopefully improve by May when I get to a new local office, I get interrupted with the following:

"Woah, you need a man! Someone to make you feel all goooooood!"

No, I don't need a man. And I have something to make me feel good and it's called a vibrator, thank you very much.

"Are you looking? No? I can always set you up."

That will make my mother happy, thanks. And how do I know it will make mom happy? Because she came up with the idea after meeting my neighbors, like, one time and finding out they were in my age demographic. So this concept is not an original one by you, Sparky.

He wasn't trying to be rude, I know that. He said it in kind of that Matthew McConaughay stoner/surfer style of talk from Dazed and Confused, so I wasn't offended, but it was enough to get the sarcastic comments rolling around in my brain. What he doesn't realize is that I've passed that early twenties crap that most of us chicks go through where we get all obsessive about marriage and babies, and now I've reached this zen state where I figure I'll meet Mr. Right when I'm suppose to meet Mr. Right. I don't want to settle for just anyone because frankly, I've already been there and done that with disastrous results. I'm the self proclaimed American Bridget Jones, only lacking in desperation and a spiffy accent. I've had plenty of Daniels and now I'm ready for my Mark (and if he turns out to be super tall with killer brown eyes like Colin Firth, that will be excellent!).

Besides, I don't really need a man, I need a wife! Give me a woman who will cook and clean constantly for me but will never want to have sex with me. That would be perfect! I'm gonna totally ask for one for my birthday now.

Central Reservation

2009-03-22T15:17:00.000-06:00

If you all haven't figured it out yet, I LOVE music. And that includes everything from Frank Sinatra to Shonen Knife to George Strait to Lita Ford. And I love to share music with everyone. Have you all heard this song yet? It's been around a while but I hadn't heard it until recently and absolutely fell in love with it. I wanted to add it on to the little music widget thingymadoodle at the bottom of the page, but all I could find was some dance remix that did not do the song justice (And don't get me wrong, dance is up there between Frank and Lita, too, but I just didn't like it on this song). But youtube came to the rescue with a beautiful live version! Enjoy :)

Michael J Fox Has No Elvis In Him. Poor Guy.

2009-03-08T17:02:00.000-06:00

This song makes me hap-pay! I can't listen to it and not smile so I thought I would share it with y'all. I don't think Ana will care for the music much, but she can mute it and enjoy looking at the pictures of Elvis that pop up.

Random Thoughts By Dru

2009-03-08T16:27:00.000-06:00

I was thinking to myself today about my butt (I'm a chick and it's grown a little in the last few weeks, so it's on my mind). And then I thought of those sweatpants that girls get that say things like "cutie" or "juicy", and I have decided I should get a pair of sweatpants and embroider the phrase, "everyone loves J-E-L-L-O" on the ass. I was thinking for extra emphasis, I could even have Bill Cosby's face embroidered on there as well but I don't know. I am undecided about whether that would be overkill and if I really want Cosby's schnoz that close to my lovely lady lumps.

Continuing With Education Month

2009-02-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

More things I've learned and they have mostly been minor insights on me. Because it's all about me. Nah, it's not really, but I do like to have an over bloated sense of self sometimes. Okay, her we go...

1. Creepy guys wear Axe Bodyspray. Especially creepy guys over 35. And chances are, if they are a creepy guy over 35 wearing Axe, they will take a liking to me. Stay away from men who wear Axe! Icky yucky poo poo smelly stuff!

2. Facebook is addicting. I especially enjoy finding all of those spiffy little bumper stickers with smart ass sayings. There are very few things in life that are better than sarcasm.

3. My sister Ana sews and she enjoys torturing my brother in law with bacon. Good thing we started this blog, or I may not have found out for years! Well, I knew the part about how she enjoys torturing my brother in law, but I just didn't know how much she enjoys doing it with bacon.

4. Using the word y'all makes me happy. I think it makes me a little bit of a poser, since I didn't grow up in the real South, but I did grow up in Southern California and live in the Southwest now, so it's close enough. Y'all y'all y'all y'all y'all...

5. I would really like the occupation of trophy wife. Real jobs cut into my sitting around time and that annoys me and I have to cheer myself up more often. Like how thinking about it now has annoyed me and I have to cheer myself up at this moment again. Y'all y'all y'all y'all...

6. I miss singing everyday with my friends. I am an online karaoke fiend and this job shit is cutting into my karaoke time, too. And I'm a better singer than I thought; I was in a contest earlier this month and I made it to the top 25 out of 100 singers. That made me proud, so I'm taking a moment to brag and I'm not feeling a bit bad about bragging.

7. There is no purer smile of happiness than the one on a person who has not danced in years because of being bound to a wheelchair. I saw this last week and it made my day as much as it made hers. And I'm not saying that she got up out of that chair and wiggled her butt and it made her smile. The smile appeared when my coworker wheeled her out to the dance floor and twirled her about in that chair. Someone took the time to dance with her at a Valentine's dance despite her ambulatory restrictions, and I will remember that smile for a long time.

Eight more days until the month is over. Eight more days to see what else can be learned.

Makin Bacon

2009-02-16T13:58:00.000-07:00

Know how to become the meanest person ever? Make bacon during the day for a dinner you are preparing hours away and don't let your husband, (who is standing hovering over you in the kitchen salivating) have any. HA! That is the way to have him tell you that you are the "meanest person ever" and pout like a 2 year old. My German Shepherd had more discipline and was more forgiving! Can we say "Girls Best Friend"!

I don't want to grow up!

2009-02-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

So you know one way to know you're growing up? The way you dress. Trying to fill up my unemployed time I decided to alter old clothes. I went through my boxes and found dresses from my twenties I don't wear anymore. I decided to turn them into tops. So I whip out my sewing machine, cut them and hemmed them up. Presto, new tops. The thing is, they were mini dresses and I only cut off 5 inches! (Thank God the tops nowadays cover more!) Scary how we can wear such cute mini dresses in our younger days that we wouldn't be caught dead in in our thirties!

Cartoons Make Me Happy

2009-02-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

I swear sometimes that inside this nearly 30 year woman there lives a 13 year old boy. I love playing video games, I style my hair into shampoo mohawks in the shower, and I love cartoons. One of my favorite cartoons is an online gem called Neurotically Yours over on illwillpress.com. I've been watching it for probably a good five years now; my nephew introduced it to me and I have been watching faithfully ever since (And my nephew was about 13 then. Coincidence? I think not.). I thought I would share some of my all time favorites out of the archives with you guys, plus the newest one that could have made me spontaneously spew milk out of my nose if I was a character on South Park.

Bastardized Musicals
Amitiville Toaster
Kavorkian Scarf

If you watched them and didn't laugh, check your pulse because you must be dead. If you couldn't understand what the hell the squirrels were saying, don't feel bad because whenever my folks have watched them with me, I have to regularly repeat what was said. Then they laugh (My parents have a twisted sense of humor just like me).

While I Was "Working"...

2009-02-10T14:56:00.000-07:00

Because of all the snow that fell yesterday and last night, I got to work from home instead of driving over a mountain and through the slushy mush to sit in the office. So, like the good new employee that I am, I spent part of my day finding videos like this to watch. Click on the link and enjoy.

Cell Phone Reunion

I'm gonna go do some more flaking off from work now...

Why I Love Camera Phones

2009-02-06T19:31:00.000-07:00

The reason is because I can snap photos like this in Walmart

Were you all aware that macaroni and cheese is an Asian food staple? I wasn't before seeing this! I feel like all of the Asian restaurants have been holding out on us because they never have mac and cheese in the buffets. Bastards...

And Dru's thought of the day. Sweet and Sour Sauce is to Asian food as Ranch dressing is to American food. It makes EVERYTHING delicious! I might even eat crap like green beans if I could smother them in Sweet and Sour Sauce. Actually, nah, I probably still wouldn't because I am severely prejudice towards green beans, but I'm sure you get my point. I wonder how it would be on mac and cheese though. It might make some alarmingly bright shade of orange, but it could still be good. You never know. February is now officially Education Month in my warped world, so I say we all whip up a batch and try it. Let me know your thoughts on it.

Important Things I've Learned in February

2009-02-04T22:13:00.000-07:00

And we're only 4 days into it. Who knew it would be so educational? This is what I have learned to be true so far...

1. It's okay to be a rude bitch on the job, but only if you are wearing tailored slacks. A beautiful pair of slacks can magically make you into a no nonsense business woman (I have learned this by observing and not by doing, thank you very much.).

2. Old people smell, but I adore them. And nothing is funnier than to hear them cuss. And since I have a potty mouth, I can only hope in another 50 years to be as cute as the the adorable geezers I have encountered lately.

3. Ben Folds will never make an album that I don't instantly love. Neither will Ani DiFranco.

4. I will never find the love of my life on eharmony. But I will get tons of spam from them. And the next time anyone tells me I should try to meet a man on there, I will beat them senseless as I yell almost incoherently about how there are more actors with scripts in eharmony commercials than in most MTV reality shows.

5. Accounting is not as hard as I thought. As long as your book has lots and lots of pretty pictures and you have a sarcastic teacher, it can even almost be enjoyable.

Some things I am pondering and may find out by the end of February:

1. Can you be fired from the Christian faith based company you recently started working for by spreading a witch's recipe for cascarilla powder around the desks of the rude bitches, er, um, I mean, no nonsense business women you work with?

2. Will force feeding a sandwich to cranky skinny women who claim not to eat instantly give them better personalities?

3. Will the local markets be able to stock their shelves with enough Gewurztraminer for me to buy on a daily basis so that I can be comfortably numb during my first few weeks of on the job training? (I don't mean I'll drink it on the job. I'll wait until I get home to drink it of course. And then hope that the effects of the alcohol stay with me through the next day...)

4. Are my suspiscions true and my dirty dishes in the sink are mutiplying on their own, like a bad sci-fi movie?

Yup yup, a very educational month it is going to be...

Stupid Questions Make Me Feel Stupid

2009-01-22T00:24:00.000-07:00

"What can you tell us about yourself?"

"What do you expect out of this class?"

I despise both of these questions and I was asked both of them today. The first in a job interview, the second in my online English class. I despise them, not because I feel that they are a bit unnecessary, but because they put you on the spot. Okay, maybe not you but they put me on the spot, and suddenly I am squirmy, uncomfortable and my mind goes nearly blank. At least with the question about class I was able to just sit a moment and relax so that I was able to make my brain function into a state where I could bullshit an answer that was halfway decent. But still, what could/should I say? I couldn't say what I really wanted. No, that would be too honest. Because what I would have liked to say was, "I have no expectations, and I'm only taking this class because it's a required class that I must endure in my pursuit of a college degree. Please let me sail through each assignment and give me an A so that my GPA will be high. Thanks." Nope, I had to fake it and say something more pc, so I went with something along the lines of hoping to improve my email writing skills. Lame answer, yes, but better than my honest answer.
The first question was asked during an interview for a medical receptionist position. "Tell us about yourself." I immediately become a deer in headlights, and the car coming towards me expects some enlightening details into my personality that will make me a stand out contender for the position they are looking to fill. My initial beginning to this answer? Again, lame, lame, LAME! I say, "Wow, that's one of those loaded questions, isn't it?" No, it's not really, but my nervousness made it feel loaded. Because I don't sit and think to myself, "Hmm, what am I like?", because honestly with my insecurities, the answer or answers are never really flattering and I prefer not to sit and dwell on those crap answers I give myself. And she was asking on a personal level for me to talk about myself. Why? I'm here for a job, not to become best friends with a total stranger. Ask me about how I can make any spreadsheet you want on Excel, ask me about my phone etiquette skills, but don't ask me about my personal life because the fact that I enjoy sitting in a bubble bath for so long that the water will actually start drying out my skin has no bearing on how I will function in my occupation. Unless the employer is concerned about how much time I spend whipping out mini bottles of lotion from my purse while on the job that is. There, now you all know something that the doctor in the interview doesn't know. And I bet you would probably feel better without the image of me pruning up in a bathtub, wouldn't you?

I'm getting off of my soapbox now and going to bed...

My Twisted Sense of Humor

2009-01-07T23:05:00.000-07:00

It's late, but I was getting hungry and started raiding the fridge for something to munch on. I spotted the open package of bacon that I needed to finish cooking up, and thought might as well do it now.

As I cook the bacon, I let my mind wander to random things, and then start thinking more about the bacon itself.

"Bacon is delicious. I don't like bacon grease though. It's making a mess on the stove; I just cleaned this stove. It hurts when it pops and hits you. Bacon grease looks nasty. I don't care if Martha Stewart claims eggs are tasty when poached in vats of bacon grease, it looks gross and I wouldn't want to eat it. I need to find a jar to pour it into when I'm done because it clogs the drain when you put it down the sink, or so mom says. Bacon grease is just nasty..."

And then the final thought that comes into my head on the subject is,
"I wonder if anyone else but me would find the humor of placing a label
on the grease jar that says Miss Jackson?"

I Am A Food/Pop Culture Nerd

2009-01-03T20:11:00.000-07:00

During one of my many breaks that I took while cleaning the kitchen today, I stopped to take this little quiz on MSN, the Packaged Food Memory Test. I only missed one question on it. I'm wondering if I pay too much attention to advertising ploys or if I really love crap food. Probably both. The only question I missed was about the King for Burger King. I picked that he started showing up in the 90's; maybe it's because he's creepy that I blocked him out of my memory because all I remember from Burger King are those stylin' cardboard crowns that they use to give out back in the day.

I'm interested in knowing if anybody else out there has all of this stuff embedded in their brain too or if it's just me...

Things I Ponder

2008-12-28T01:24:00.001-07:00

I haven't had much to write about lately; things have just been kind of blah. But having this much blah time leaves me with more time to let random weird thoughts run through my head...

Like wondering about my cat Oliver and why he stands at the bathroom door and just cries when I am in there. I usually have the door propped open, so it's not like he can't come in to hang out. He stands there and meows at me as I am doing any normal bathroom task, like showering, putting on my make up, etc. There's no Peeping Tom at the window that he is warning me about (yeah, I'm paranoid and have checked the window before.), so I know he's not some cat version of Lassie warning me about a bad man outside. So the only thing I can figure is the cat is actually getting upset with me, thinking that I am using his drinking dish as a litter box. That's my only possible conclusion to his chattering.

I think I need to find myself a boyfriend so I can stop worrying about the inner workings of my cats' brains. It's these types of pondering moments that make me realize I am turning into a crazy cat lady that children make fun of in their neighborhoods...

Gettin' crafty

2008-12-19T22:18:00.000-07:00

Because of the dismal work situation, this year my family has told me not to buy them presents and freed me from the usual frenzied Christmas shopping madness. Instead, I'm all about the handmade ornaments and baking. I finished the first ornament tonight and felt very proud and eager to show it off to everyone. I found the tutorial over on Everyday Beautiful. It was so easy to do that I was able to give equal concentration to the creation of the ornament and watch one of my favorite paranormal programs all at the same time. I love multitasking all while sitting on my ass...

I was also suffering from a bit of insomnia last night and started going through some boxes in my room. I've lived here 3 months and I still have crap in boxes, it's really sad. But I use the excuse that I moved from a two bedroom house with a garage to a one bedroom apartment with NO storage as my defense. Plus I'm lazy, but that's besides the point. Anyhoo, during my adventure in unpacking, I discovered something I forgot I have. This sticker, bought long ago at a Hot Topic store:

I so LOVE that sticker! I'm all giddy from finding it and the one that says "I poke badgers with spoons". They now adorn my magnet and family photo covered refrigerator so that I can enjoy the twisted humor in them daily. I can't wait to see what else I find that has been packed away. It's like Christmas everyday in my joint.

Thanks Judy

2008-12-18T16:18:00.000-07:00

So I'm going through my old things since I have so much time on my hands and I come across books I've saved. I pull out "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret". This was my all time favorite book of my adolescence. I read it so much the binding fell off and I taped it to hold. The pages are yellow from age and a page is falling out. I'm seriously contemplating reading it since I have time to spare and revert back to childhood when it really was easy! What was so great about starting periods anyway? I just started my pill pack early so I'd skip my period this week for my bday. Now that's a birthday present, no period! Judy needs to write about that!

Renaming...

2008-12-17T18:04:00.000-07:00

This is my cat Bella. I'm thinking for the season I should rename her Chestnut though, because she's always roasting herself by an open space heater...

Yeah, the cat thinks I'm cheesy too...

Cattle Call

2008-12-12T12:02:00.000-07:00

Hey, Ana here, OK so I went to my first interview in a month of sending resumes. No, they didn't call me in particular, it was a group interview which I've never had and anyone who wants to show up can. And it literally was a group when I got there, sitting in a circle answering their questions one by one. Like it isn't nervewracking enough to interview in front of one person, but interviewing in front of a whole audience? Are you kidding? Is this what the workforce has come to? So many people applying we don't even get our own face time? At least I know my competition now and know that I'm not getting the job.:-) Oh, and it should have been a sign when I couldn't find the entrance because the parking was in the back of the huge building and I walked in a back door and set the alarm off. Something told me to leave then but do I ever listen to those loud signs? NO!

Tis the season for giving...

2008-12-11T17:12:00.000-07:00

Since the radio stations in Northern Arizona feel that variety is having 3 pop stations and a John Tesh radio show on a 4th, I usually turn to the internet to satisfy my need to hear rock music. Today I'm streaming my favorite station from Southern California, and several times a PSA for us internet listeners comes on, informing us ladies that the best gift to give our men this holiday season is a doctors appointment so that he can have his prostate checked. Yeah, I am so sure that this is the gift on every man's list this year! This is the scenario that kept coming into my mind:

Begin Scene

A beautiful couple sits by the Christmas tree, covered in twinkling lights. The woman looks lovingly at her man and exclaims, "Oh honey! I got you the best present ever!"

His face lights up with excitement. "Wow, is it the new xbox I've been asking for?!"

"No darling, I set it up so that this Friday a man you hardly even know will stick his finger up your ass. Merry Christmas sweetie!!"

She embraces the man with a warm hug as a look of horror sweeps over his face.

End Scene

PSAs like these should not be put out there in this fashion, because people with warped imaginations will think up things like this. PSA writers, please, next time you sit down to write a meaningful PSA, remember there are people like me out there with no shame who will take it to a dark place.

Hey Blogland!

2008-12-09T21:33:00.000-07:00

Hey Blogland! Ana here and so ready to give my two cents with my wicked sister. I have way too much time on my hands being as I've just moved to Texas with my hubby's transfer and I am unemployed. So get ready to read about my frustrations and complaints about being in the house with him all day (he works in an office out of the house) and not being able to find work in our lovely economy. Good times, good times. :-)